Writing Around the Christmas Tree
When we first meet Mikaela (Krystal Joy Brown), the world renown romance author is holding a writing seminar about whatever they talk about in writing seminars, but she keeps getting interrupted by the annoying Levi (Curtis Hamilton) who keeps asking questions about Mikaela's famous late mom, because of course her mom is dead, which annoys Mikaela to no end. He annoys me too, Mikaela, but we know that's not gonna stop you two cute kids from locking lips in about 90 minutes. He also mentions that Mikaela should revive her famous dead mothers annual holiday writing retreat.
As it turns out that's not the worst idea. You see Mikaela is suffering from a severe case of writers block, keeping her from finishing the final chapters in the last volume of her blockbuster romance novels. I mean if she doesn't turn in something to her publisher soon, they are going to drop her, which I don't think any publisher has ever done to any revenue generating author.
So with her loyal assistant Keifer the gay guy (Gavyn Michaels) by her side, and we only mention Keifer's gayness because it pretty much defines his entire personality in this movie, she heads up to the Bed and Breakfast of her father Irv the Cooking Guy (James Black), as that pretty much defines HIS entire personality, to restart her mothers old retreat symposium and hopefully simmer up her own writing juices. She makes it point NOT to invite Levi the Annoying Guy, even though it was his idea in the first place to do this, but Levi is nothing if not persistent and annoys the ever living f@#k out Mikaela until she relents. But Levi has an ulterior motive, because of course he does, and that is that he REALLY wants to do a respectful retrospective piece paying homage Mikaela's dead mom. Asshole.
So with Broadway director Olive the horny chick (Meg Steedle) and Creole chef Sharon the motherly type (Dawn Lewis), who gives Dad somebody to Old Love after, rounding out the retreat, now we are ready for some fun and games. Oh, we cant forget Dad's assistant Mitchell (Max Emerson) , the other gay guy who is hanging out so Keifer has somebody to gay after.
So Mikaela is dishing out the fun activities, Dad is cooking up the great food, Levi the Annoying and Mikaela the Hot are spending more and more time together, getting closer and closer, with Mikaela only slightly concerned with Levi's seeming obsession with her dead mom. Even more fortuitous, Mikaela's writers block has been lifted, mainly thanks to Levi and his great ideas... and all is well... until it is not.
Levi calls his publisher to let her know he's not comfortable doing the story on Mikaela's dead mom, at least under these circumstances and he's out, but he leaves his note journal out in the open which Olive the Horny sneaks around and reads. You see, Olive was totally horny for Levi and once she saw that Levi was only horny for Mikaela, she decided to blow that shit up. So despite all the good times they had up to this point, Mikaela feels betrayed that Levi wasn't honest with her up front about wanting to pay respects to her dead mom and shows him the door. Now Olive the Horny feels real bad about what she's done, sneaks around some more and finds Levi's manuscript about Mikaela's dead mom, gives it to Mikaela and after reading it, she now knows, with the help of Irv the Cooking guy, that her dead mom belongs to the world and not just to her. Levi comes back, apologizes for the subterfuge as it were, is forgiven, and they make out. At Christmas. While Olive fake plays piano and lip syncs a fake ass Christmas song.
So Writing Around the Christmas Tree... which didn't actually happen in this movie... is a perfectly acceptable Romantic TV movie, made so by the stunning Kyrstal Joy Brown, and under normal circumstances it would also be a perfectly acceptable Romantic Christmas movie, in that it takes place around Christmas, people seem cold, and there are lots of Christmas decorations adorned pretty much everywhere, but we know that's not what this exercise is about, don't we? There are critical elements missing from this film which unfortunately makes this movie somewhat incomplete. True enough, Irv was a baking fool, and folks were sipping all kinds of warm Christmassy drinks, But would it hurt somebody to go Christmas tree shopping? Maybe decorate a Christmas Tree or put on an ugly Christmas sweater? Maybe build a snowman or have a snowball fight or do anything involving some snow in my Christmas Movie? How about some caroling, and a lip-synced Christmas song at the end does not count I am afraid. At least both of Levi's parents died tragically in a car accident which does make him orphan, at least we got that. I don't even think Levi and Mikaela near miss kissed. I think the gay dudes might've near missed kissed, but again, that does not count.
So if you want to watch a perfectly fine Romantic movie, starring a crazy beautiful woman, that takes place around the holidays... here you go. But if you want to watch a legit Holiday Romantic Christmas movie, Writing around the Christmas Tree... which didn't actually happen in this movie... does not have the vomits to qualify.
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