Scouting for Christmas
My apologies my friends for last year, as an unpaid Hallmarky Christmas Movie Consultant, I was derelict in my duties. Usually me and my Consulting Partner Lisa spit out between 20 to 40 of these hard hitting essays each year but last year I only did a couple. There were extenuating circumstances of course, but as an old ball coach used to tell us, excuses are like nostrils (he didn't say nostrils), everybody has one. This year however we are back on it, no longer shirking my duties as an unpaid Holiday movie consultant.
Angela (Tamera Mowry-Housley) is a hard working real-estate agent and somewhat neglectful mom to the spunky 10-year old Brooklyn (Audrey Wise Alvarez). Meaning she's always late picking up Brooklyn up from school to take her to her girl scout meetings, leaving Brooklyn to trek on down to the local bakery to avoid freezing to death, and beg for food. In the real world, perhaps protective services should get involved, but we're in Hallmark world where kids left stranded on city streets are perfectly safe.
But this Bakery, Sir Bakes A Lot, is run by the very charming and disarmingly pretty William Glass (Carlo Marks)... they called him Mister Glass... who is also NOT gay. Completely not gay this guy. Little Brooklyn is his favorite customer but Mr. Glass has his eye on the fetching Single Mom who always comes in the bakery to retrieve her oft stranded daughter. And don't think for a minute that the Single Mom is oblivious to the Hot Baker across the way either.
But there are other things to deal with such as William being pressured by his mom and his ex Jessica (Sarah Surh) to expand the bakery, and we also have a grand Girl Scout ball to prepare for. In between all of this Angela and Mr. Glass are starting get a little cozy, thanks in no small part to little Brooklyn who likes to get into grown folks business and is pretty desperate to see her mom hook up with the Bakery dude. We even had a near miss kiss, not interrupted by an interloper or an alarm or some other nonsense, but blocked by Angela herself who sadly confessed to William some words that I have forgotten on why she didn't want to make out.
Ah, but then Brooklyn's dad, the strapping archeologist Dakota (James Palladino), Indiana Jones Fedora and all, shows up to spend the holidays with his daughter which just throws a wrench into everything. Dakota wants Angela back, Angela is not interested because she's all into William, but William doesn't know this and thinks he's out of the picture, and Brooklyn is sad because her hookup plans have been derailed.
What can put love back on track? Cupcakes, that's what! Turns out the baker for the Girl Scout ball bailed and Sir Bakes A Lot had to swoop in and save the day, which he only did because Angela asked him too. So William puts on his old tuxedo, which was the tuxedo he was going to wear to his wedding before he was left jilted at the alter, which is terribly sad and pathetic, and dishes out killer cupcakes at the ball. While at the ball he is approached by the strapping archeologist who tells William the he needs make his move on his woman, since she doesn't want him, which he does, and there they go, at the ball, making out on the dance floor. While a bunch of kids look on, I assume, because it is a Girl Scouts ball.
So how does 'Scouting for Christmas', our first Christmas Movie of the winter of 2024 hold up? Other than the fact there was way more baking than scouting, but I'm going to assume 'Baking for Christmas' has already been taken, but this movie was kind of a mixed bag. The basic structure of a Hallmarky Christmas movie is here... driven career woman doesn't have a man, kind of gets a man, loses said man and gets man back around Christmas, and with a veteran Holiday movie director in Jason Borque behind the camera and Ultra Veteran Holiday movie actor Tamera Morwy in front of the camera, the basic structure, pacing, performances are all solid.
But the missing elements were glaring. We had snow, kinda, but no snowball fights or snow man making. Yes, William was a baking fool, but they needed to bake together and should've given me a baking montage or something! Nobody shopped for Christmas presents, nobody did any caroling, I didn't get any orphan kids, the tree decorating scene was weak, and I didn't get any wise old people... Angela had a sister spitting some wisdom here and there (Marci T. House) but she wasn't nearly old enough. Wisdom just sounds better coming from old folks.
Solid movie and all, but I needed more Christmas from this Christmas movie is all I'm saying is what I'm saying.
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