A Christmas Treasure
Today we will be spending some quality time with Lou
(Jordin Sparks) who is a hard working reporter for her parent’s newspaper in
Tiny Town USA. It’s about a week before
Christmas and Lou isn’t long for this town as she is heading for New York City
right after Christmas so she can focus on writing her novel. Personally, I can’t think of a place more
serene, peaceful and completely devoid of distractions than New York City.
Across town in Tiny Town is Kyle, as played by up and
coming professional Holiday Romantic Movie Boyfriend Michael Xavier. This is
like the fifth one of these I’ve seen him in.
Kyle is a chef from Chicago but is between jobs right now, meaning he’s
unemployed, so he’s in Tiny Town to help his auntie Marcy (Lossen Chambers) who
runs the local eatery. In the last movie
we saw, Christmas Sail, Ms. Chambers ran the local bakery and now we’re
wondering if Lossen Chambers can cook for real.
There’s a lot going on in Tiny Town right now as they
are prepping for the Christmas festival and also have unearthed the 100 year
old time capsule. Inside this capsule is
a lamp that belonged to Lou’s great grandfather, a mystery Lou is determined to
solve before she heads off to New York.
There are also songs to sing because, you know, Jordin Sparks is in your
movie. But Lou is actually too busy to
sing the songs this year, so this task is being passed down to her bestie and
sister-in-law who looks to be 22 months pregnant. We’re thinking that baby is going to prevent
her from singing these songs she’s been practicing.
Meanwhile, Lou and Kyle keep running into each other
in Tiny Town, which shouldn’t be too much of a surprise because the town is
tiny. Kyle used to spend every Christmas
there with his auntie, who inspired him to become a chef. Lou also loves auntie Marcy for she's the one who inspired
her to become a writer. It seems to me
that these two probably should’ve met already, at some point in their shared Tiny Town history, but
whatever.
Anyway, these cute kids are Christmas tree shopping
together, cocoa drinking, hot bun eating, gift buying, taking long walks, engaging in deep
conversations, eating special dinners… just get a room already. But
alas, she’s going to New York and he’s lining up his next Chicago chef gig so
love just cannot be. But what if, one
day, you realize it doesn’t matter where you are, but who you’re with? Did you know that one can write anywhere? And what if, one day, you realize that true
cooking inspiration doesn’t come from huge populated cities, but small towns
that hardly anybody lives in? Now love
can happen… at Christmas.
So, there are a lot of moving parts in A Christmas
Treasure, most of which I did not care about. I didn’t care about the beacon, which I think
was magic, which was put in the time capsule a hundred years ago. There’s also a lot of rigmarole about what to
put in the new time capsule which I also didn’t care about. I didn’t really care about Lou trying to go
to New York in her attempts to be a novelist because I knew she wasn’t going to make it to
New York, but I was somewhat invested in Kyle and his Nouvelle Cuisine cooking style,
which I believe is less about how food tastes and more about how food looks on
the plate, which seems terrible to me. However Kyle
is going to change all of that, by the way, by combining delicious comfort food
with Nouvelle design. Imagine, if you
will, a dish with three ornate meat balls, set an inch part, with a drizzle of
gravy on the side, next to a tablespoon of mashed potato shaped like
flower. Good luck with that Kyle.
What I did care about though was listening to Jordin
Sparks sing, and as such she blessed us with three songs. Some song she sang with her super pregnant
sister-in-law in the beginning which I can’t remember, O Holy Night in the middle,
which is a song one absolutely has to have some vocal talent to get through, and
she closed the show with the Donnie Hathaway classic ‘This Christmas’ which is
often in the discussion as the greatest Christmas song ever written.
But alas, this isn’t a Jordin Sparks Christmas Concert
Movie, but a Hallmarky Romantic Holiday movie and to that end I guess it was fine. I guess. True, I wasn’t particularly
invested in Lou and Kyle eventually finding love, but that’s okay because there
was cookie baking, Christmas tree shopping, Christmas tree decorating, lots of
background Christmas music and decorations, and all kinds of Christmassy food
products and of course Jordin singing.
We’re still missing things in these movies
though. I mean I’m six movies deep so far
in this season’s crop and I have yet to see a single snowman or a snowball
fight! Or Mistletoe! Did the pandemic break the supply chain of
Snow making machines and plastic mistletoe?
What the heck? There were also no
Orphan Kids in this movie, or any kids for that matter except for somebody’s
random baby, and the movie was almost completely devoid of wise old
people. Lou’s parents and the aunt are
older, heck, I’m older, but I’m not wise, I’m dumb so they don’t count.
The season is just getting started and there’s going
to be another 100+ of these (no joke) coming our way in the next month so I
would understand if you wanted to skip this one, but this will be the only one where
you can hear Jordin sing.
Three vomits!
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