Film Critics United

Christmas in Harmony (2021) - Hallmark I had a positive feeling about this one going in, probably because it has an accomplished cast led by Loretta Devine, lots of singing, It's powered by Hallmark and it has an experienced director behind it in Rusty Cundieff.  A director who has eternal instant credibility with me due to his first film Fear of a Black Planet.  Until I saw this one.  Oh well. Harmony (Ashleigh Murray), is a hard working NYC record exec ready for her big promotion, until her jerkoff boss informs her that not only is she not getting that promotion, she's getting downsized.  Some rigmarole about a merger and redundancy.  Nobody cares.  Harmony does NOT handle this bad news well.  She let those clowns know that they are going to regret this decision!  They are going to pay!  Personally, I would've advised Harmony to tone that rhetoric a bit as folks in todays climate may take that proclamation the wrong way, thus resulting in a...

  Christmas With You (2022) - Netflix Reviewed by Lisa Sue Well, while Chris has the Universe picking his movie, next up for me that has passed my intense vetting process is Freddie Prince Jr and Christmas With You! We know Freddie has plenty of rom-com experience, albeit nothing this decade(s). And his co lead is the lovely Aimee Garcia, who was just the sister in last year’s Holiday in Santa Fe, so we are excited she made it to above the title. The set up? Aimee plays Angelina, a singer facing the ever marching presence of time... younger singers with more tik tok views who threaten to make her irrelevant. But if she can come up with a new Christmas song, her manager Billions Barry promises her she will stay current. The problem for Angelina? She hasn’t been the same since her mom passed at Christmas time a few years ago, hence she really doesn’t have the Ho Ho Ho Jolly Spirit. The tipping point for her is that she gets cut out of a fashion cover spread, leading her to run away...

  Baby in a Manger (2019) - UpTV This is what my Excel Randomizer chose for me to watch today.  While sometimes I question the Randomizer's choices, but not this time.  Because next to this movie, at the venue I chose to watch it on, was another movie in the 1990 Billy Blanks vehicle, yes the Taebo guy, King of the Kickboxers which is the movie The Universe really wanted me to watch.  King of the Kickboxers was AWFUL... ly great!  But we're not here to talk about that movie, we are here discuss Baby in Manger which was definitely different from what we are used to.  And we are on record stating we generally don't like different when it comes to this genre of cinema.  But we'll get into it. We start out at one of those painfully adorable Church Nativity plays where kids dress up like lambs, sing badly and recite their lines even worse.  Things get interesting when the Three Wise Men show up because the third Wise Man is walking down the church aisl...

  Christmas on Repeat (2022) - Hulu It's Christmas Groundhog Day again my friends!  At least that's what we call this time loop genre because that's the movie most of us remember, but surely 'Groundhog Day' can't be the first time loop movie, can it?  What say ye, Google?  Well, it looks like there were others, kind of, such as 'The Time Travelers (1964), 'Le Mai 15 (1967)' and 'The Girl who Leapt through Time (1983)' but 1993's Groundhog Day looks to be first one to actually focus solely on one single day.  Who knew?  For disclosures sake, this movie, as all of the movies I am watching this year, was chosen by my Excel Randomizer, not me. Andrea (Jennifer Taylor) is a hard working Advertising executive, wife, and mother.  In just that order of importance it would seem.  Andrea sleeps at the office and has her assistant run all her errands for her family, including buying them this years Christmas gifts.  Worst still is that it is Christm...

The Royal Nanny (2022) - Hallmark Reviewed by Lisa Sue The title doesn’t do the movie justice.   What brought this movie to the must see list isn’t that commoner and royalty meet cute at Christmas (been there, done that see Chris’s prior write ups) BUT that this royal nanny is…drumroll please…really an MI5 Agent! It’s like if a low budget James Bond meets cute at Christmas, and frankly I’m here for it. What it really ends up being is a Hallmark Mystery that happens at Christmas, which honestly I think I have seen that? A quick IMDB search confirms that at least the Murder She Baked series did a Christmas themed episode. I mean surely Royal Nanny can’t be the only time an interrogation room and kidnapping mixes with nutcrackers, tree trimming, and hot cocoa?   Anyways, the opening is a chase scene, we see our intrepid agents running through the decked halls of London following someone, but oh no; they got away! The accomplice however was a little slower, and was totally cau...

  A Gingerbread Christmas (2022) - Discovery+ You may not know this but I am the vice-president and treasurer of the unofficial Tiya Sircar fan club.  We call ourselves the 'Bad Eleanor's', and if you get that reference then you too may be eligible for membership.  Naturally, the Bad Eleanor's cover all things Tiya, such as her latest Holiday Romance Movie, as she has made a few of these, 'A Gingerbread Christmas'. An original tale about a career gal who goes back to her small town to save the family bakery and maybe find a man in the process.  Yeah!  And if you happen to reading this, Ms. Sircar, you still have a standing invitation to address the club any time you want to.  And you don't even have to wear the special outfit we picked out for you.  Unless you want to. Hazel (Tiya) is a hard working NYC architect angling to get a big promotion, but alas her asshole boss gives the job to some other clown.  His reasoning was something like 'you're j...

  Christmas on Mistletoe Lake (2022) - Lifetime So my algorithm, known as The Universe which randomly chooses the movies for me this year, heard my complaint about the last movie I watched, 'His and Her Christmas', and how the two main characters didn't actually meet until deep into the third act.  She fixed all that with this one.  How about a movie where the two leads spend 90% of the movie connected to the hip, to the point where you almost get sick of seeing them together?  I think The Universe is starting to take some of these criticisms personal. Meet Reilly (Genelle Williams) who is tooling down the street on her way to Mistletoe Lake, a place of unmatched Christmas beauty her grandparents insisted she visit before she dies.  Reilly's first stop when she gets into Mistletoe Lake is the local bakery.  I don't why she stopped in there because she certainly didn't buy any pastries, but if she didn't stop at the bakery she wouldn't have met the strapp...

  His and Her Christmas (2005) - Lifetime Today my Excel algorithm, also known as The Universe, went back in time a bit and randomly chose this nonsense from seventeen years ago.  I'm not happy with The Universe right now.  We're going to have to have some words later on. Act One: Liz (Dina Meyer) is a recent divorcee' who writes an advice column for her small town newspaper outside of San Francisco.  I know, Newspapers.  Hey, this movie is almost two decades old and newspapers were still semi relevant back then.  Liz's life is a mess as we can plainly see as see she lives alone and has a cat.  That's a sure sign of a miserable person in movie land.  Her bestie Sarah (April Telek) knows the solution for her woes, and that's getting a man.  Or just getting tightened up by a man to loosen up those gears.  Just telling you what she said.  But Liz says she don't need no man!  HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Across town in SanFran proper we meet Tom...

  Merry Swissmas (2022) - Hallmark Reviewed By Lisa Sue As my partner in crime has lamented, it has been harder this year to get into the holiday spirit and watch these Christmas movies. I don’t think it’s a reflection on them, they haven’t changed. They seem to be pushing the same formula, trying to spread cheer as best they know how. So what’s wrong? I dunno, that may be an unanswerable question in this continuing dumpster fire that is living in 2022. But I don’t blame them, honestly. So what is one to do if you don’t have a fancy algorithm like Chris? Well, I have had to up a the vetting process. Watching trailers and then determining if they have the IT factor. IT being something crazy or silly to push it over the top, make it stand out. Oddly, I can’t say this movie’s trailer really did that except for it takes place in Switzerland, and while that isn’t peak exotic, it was enough for this movie to make the cut. So come on down, A Christmas in Switzerland, you’re the next conte...