Baby in a Manger
This is what my Excel Randomizer chose for me to watch today. While sometimes I question the Randomizer's choices, but not this time. Because next to this movie, at the venue I chose to watch it on, was another movie in the 1990 Billy Blanks vehicle, yes the Taebo guy, King of the Kickboxers which is the movie The Universe really wanted me to watch. King of the Kickboxers was AWFUL... ly great! But we're not here to talk about that movie, we are here discuss Baby in Manger which was definitely different from what we are used to. And we are on record stating we generally don't like different when it comes to this genre of cinema. But we'll get into it.
We start out at one of those painfully adorable Church Nativity plays where kids dress up like lambs, sing badly and recite their lines even worse. Things get interesting when the Three Wise Men show up because the third Wise Man is walking down the church aisle doing a dance, which is like a mix between pop locking and Bolloywood maybe? And I'm here for it. Do that thing man! Unfortunately he snags his foot on a cable which is carelessly strung across the aisle-way and thank goodness he didn't break his neck, he just knocked out the lights. When the lights soon come back on, there was an actual baby in the manger. This was not supposed to be there. Fortunately, stalwart Child Protection Services agent Alison (Monica Knox) is in the play and she leaps into action. Unfortunately for her, also on the scene is Kojak over here is Brock the Police Man (Michael Morrone) who is ready to crack some heads and write down some names to find out who this baby belongs to. And done he forgot his pen and paper.
Fortunately both of their bosses were at the church event, they manage to get these two knuckleheads under control and map out a plan of action which includes taking this baby to the hospital to check her out and casing to the pews to see if anybody saw anything. Obviously, Alison and Brock aren't getting along very well but when Alison is stuck taking baby Joy home, that's name they gave her, and might I say this the happiest damn baby I've ever seen in my life, Brock decides to come along and help her out, and the ice between the two begins to melt a bit.
Until they get into another fight. This is kind of how their relationship goes for the length of this movie. They find common ground, then they fight. Rinse and repeat. One of the issues is that this has turned very personal for both of them. Alison has never even entertained the thought of a family but after spending a few days with baby Joy, she realizes this is the one thing in her life that was missing. While Mannix over here is obsessed with finding who this baby belongs to and bringing them to justice! Looks like Brock has some deep rooted, personal, abandoned as a child at Christmas issues he needs to work out. In the worst way.
Eventually they find the person this baby belongs to. A sixteen year old girl who was dumped by her boyfriend on their way to wherever, and desperate, with no money and no food to feed herself or the baby, she saw the church lights and dropped her in the manger. We could ask how she managed to do this without being seen, considering that there was a stage full of people behind the manger and another hundred or so in the pews in front of the manger. Somebody's a ninja. Or Blink. Or Nightcrawler.
Well Alison is sympathetic to the girls plight and wants to help her, but Baretta over here wants to throw the book at her! The baby could've died! Slow it down Steve McGarret, she put the baby in a manger in a church within plain view of about 150 people. The baby was going to be okay. But Starsky and Hutch over here wasn't hearing any of that, which of course drives the final wedge between Alison and Brock.
Eventually though, after talking it out with the pastor, Brock realizes that he has allowed his personal tragedy to affect common sense and has the charges against the kid dropped. I mean she's only sixteen Frank Poncherello, there's only so much you can do to her anyway. He also thinks he's ruined all his chances with Alison who he has somehow fallen in love with. Alison has also fallen for Brock and after hearing what he has done, she thinks there may be hope for him. After Brock has a deep heart to heart with Alison, admitting that he has some deep rooted mental problems and needs the kind of therapy that an eighty minute TV movie cannot come close to fixing, this is all she needed to hear, all is solved and they make out... At Christmas. These two are also talking about family planning. Hold your horses Eight is Enough! Go out on a date first.
BUT IT'S NOT OVER YET!!! The kid, the baby's mother, along with her own mother have decided they can't take care of baby Joy and are giving it to Alison. Wait, can you just arbitrarily give a baby to someone? I mean it's not a puppy. Or a gerbil. And have you ladies met Brock? That's Alison's man now and do you want this emotionally damaged psycho taking care of your kid? Alison said a line about paperwork but that kid ain't signing jack because she and her mom are in the wind. Whatever I guess. Alison and Brock have a baby now. Fast forward a couple of years and baby Joy is a little girl, Alison is pregnant, and I assume Brock and Alison have at least gone out on that date. At Christmas.
Okay, one of the things you're going to have to get past if you choose to watch this movie, or if you've seen it then you are probably already aware of it, and I don't want to be mean here, but the acting in this movie never really rises above that opening nativity scene. With the exception of Monica Knox, who looks like she could be Jennifer Esposito's sister, I'd almost say the majority of the actors in this production aren't even professionals with male lead Michael Morrone, a good looking kid to be sure, probably getting the worst of it. BUT... I adjusted to it. I can't say you will do the same.
Performances aside, if you can put them aside, the movie wasn't so bad. This was not a traditional Hallmarky holiday romance as the romance elements were kind of forced and felt tacked on, but it was more of a family drama. The baby was truly the center of the story and everything branched off the existence of this baby. Brock's pent up feelings of abandonment, Alison's awakening to the potential joys of motherhood, and the kid and her reasons for giving up the baby in the first place. This was the crux of the movie, not the romance part. They actually could've left the whole romance part out if they chose to, but I think it's actual illegal to make one of these movies during this time of the year and have some woman end a movie without a man.
As a result, the Hallmarky vomit worthiness of 'Baby in a Manger' was virtually nonexistent. No cookie baking, no snowball fights, no snowman making, no Christmas Tree buying, no Christmas Tree trimming, no near miss kissing, no hot cocoa sipping... nothing. The choir might've been doing carols during the that nativity scene, but we're not counting that. Caroling consists of annoying people at their homes as they pray for to leave, THAT'S the essence of caroling. I guess orphans were kind of in the story, but it's orphans being abandoned at Christmas so we're not counting that either. The last scene did have Brock wearing an ugly Christmas sweater, but that was about it.
Like I said, this one was a little different. Stiff acting, decent story, no cookie baking. I didn't hate this, but you might and I would completely understand.
Comments
Post a Comment