Cooking Up Christmas
Who wants some melodrama? You want some melodrama? I know I want some melodrama in my Romantic Christmas movie!
Chloe (Megan Holder) is a big time Atlanta Culinary Artists working in a top shelf restaurant where they make that fancy looking type of food you only see on television. You know the ones where the plates usually have a leaf of some sort on the side, and an indistinguishable tiny block of something usually covered in some kind of colored drizzle. Unfortunately for Chloe, for reasons I'm not completely sure of, has just gotten the sack from this gig, right before the holidays, so as such she is going to need a new gig.
Say hello to Donovan (Lamman Rucker), a pitcher for the 'Atlanta Baseball Team'. It is mentioned to us that in this reality this Atlanta Baseball Team has won three championships. Living in Georgia, we understand that this is an alternate reality version of Georgia. Donovan, being a widow, is raising his three teenage kids all on his own, with some help from his uncle Buck (L. Warren Young), who's not really his uncle, just a guy he's known most of his life. Donovan is raising these kids the only way he knows how, by waking them up at the crack of dawn and training them to be in top physical form, down to their gluten free / sugar free / carb free / taste free diets.
Well uncle Buck has had enough of this and hires Chloe to be the new live in chef, at least through the holidays, while Chloe works on saving up her coin and getting her own place. First thing Chloe sees when she drives up to Donovan's Savannah home is my man jogging, and from the way Chloe is looking at this dude, it doesn't seem as if she's ever seen a man jog before. Next thing Chloe does is set up the kitchen. About this kitchen, me being a fan of kitchens, this one has a gas stove AND and an electric stove on an island. I've never seen that before and I want it. And the extra 4,000 sq/ft I'd have to add to my current home to make it look like the house they filmed this movie in.
Chloe is going to find that working for Donovan and adhering to his unreasonably strict dietary guidelines will be extremely challenging, but she is a pro's pro this woman. She manages to make meals which Donovan begrudgingly approves of, Uncle Buck approves of and two of the kids approve of. Daughter Vanessa however hates Chloe, though spending some time with Vanessa, Chloe shouldn't take this personal because Vanessa seems to hate everything. And while Donovan was a little harsh with Chloe in the beginning, he's starting to come around to her charms, and fast, because Chloe has a secret weapon working for her, that weapon being she's fine AF, which in my experience in watching these movies tend to smooth things out more times than not.
But there's trouble brewing because Donovan's mom is coming and she hates Chloe simply by default, AND she bought Donovan's deliciously trampy ex-girlfriend Shavonne to Christmas to further agitate Chloe who she doesn't even know. AND Chloe has discovered an explosive secret about Uncle Buck and Donovan's mom which will rock poor Donovan down to his very soul. AND because Donovan has a bad shoulder, the 'Atlanta Team' has signed a new pitcher who is terrorizing Donovan on social media, letting folks know he's not riding the bench! Because in this reality, baseball teams only have one pitcher to start all 162 games and one to ride the bench. This could be why Donovan has a bad shoulder. AND Donovan walks around with mistletoe in his pocket which he constantly holds over Chloe's head trying to get her to kiss him. Now I know this is supposed to be romantic and sweet, but I translated this to be a toxic work environment. Not that this is going to stop Chloe from kissing him, and everything working itself out... at Christmas.
Since I'm a firm believer that every single TV network in existence should do Hallmarky Romantic Holiday movies, it warms the heart to see that Oprah's network has thrown their entry into mix. This one is a little different however, as most of the ones that take place in the south will be a little different, mainly because there's going to be no snow which all by itself changes the trajectory of how our movie will go. You see in the absence of snowball fights, snowmen building, snow angel creating and ice skating and the like, we have to find other things to fill in these gaps. This one chose family melodrama. Mind you that's not a good thing or bad thing, just a thing to fill up a movie. Will you be entertained by this overwrought melodrama and hand wringing? Of course that's up to the viewer, and while most of it is kind of silly, it is well acted melodrama so I didn't mind it too much. Note that our heroine had almost nothing to do with any of this melodrama, she was just our conduit to watch the melodrama unfold. Our eyes and ears.
But just because there's no snow doesn't mean the movie doesn't try to squeeze in the necessary non-snow elements as we had cookie baking of course, Christmas tree shopping and decorating, made even more special because we used the ornaments of the Dead mom, Cocoa drinking, a near miss kiss though Donovan was pretty relentless is making this kiss happen, present wrapping and unwrapping, and while we got no caroling per se, we did get a family 5-part harmony rendition of Silent Night which most families not named The Winans can't do. I personally really enjoyed the Christmas gift unwrapping at the end because the youngest daughter unwrapped a blueprint. Most 13 year old girls probably just want a new phone but this kid is getting a complete working science lab built for her, which sounds like an absolutely terrible idea.
But we did not mind Cooking for Christmas and it's melodrama because it gave us the ability to watch Megan Holder in motion, and Lamman Rucker can chew up a scene with the best of them, along with the other Christmassy things it brings to the table. Thank you Oprah. Thank you once again. The thanking Oprah part is required. I think we all know this.
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