Film Critics United

The man in the picture over there is apparently eating the butt of his lady friend.   This is made all the more disturbing as this act is taking place during the tailgate of a pre-season game of my team… the Detroit Lions.   I mean it’s bad enough being a Lions fan, but now we have to live this down.   However this article is less about the act of the butt munching itself, which we will admit is mighty peculiar, but more about how does this even come to pass? So your sitting in a parking lot before the game, getting ready to eat a couple of brats, down a couple of brews, and then… what?   Does your lady go “Hey… I’d really like it if you ate my butt right now”?   Is that how this went down?   And if she did ask, couldn’t the man just say “Baby, I’m gonna eat that butt like it’s a rib-eye… as soon as we get home”.   I think she’d be understanding.   Or maybe he lost a bet.   He bet his girl that the Tigers would cover the three run sp...

If I see Bruce Wayne’s parents die one more time, I’m gonna choke somebody.  I mention this, before speaking to you about the disastrous Fantastic Four movie, to say that we don’t need another origin story.  Flaming dude, stretchy guy, invisible chick, Rock man… we know who they are, don’t need to see how they became that way.  Just get the movie started bro.  So while we are officially in retirement at the FCU, we do still watch movies, albeit with less frequency, but we had to come out briefly just to talk about what we saw with this movie, what seemed to go wrong, why it has performed so poorly and where they can go next. For starters, as I have stated many times, I was a kid who loved comic books and I loved no comic book more than the Fantastic Four, so one could call me a FF purist or even an FF snob.  And also let me say that I didn’t think director Josh Trank’s FF film was terrible movie, not a good movie, but not a gawdawfully terrible one… a...