Film Critics United

Christmas at the Plaza (2019) - Hallmark

Like I said before, if an actor is on my show Agents of Shield, or Blindspot even, and then shows up in a cable Romantic Christmas movie, there's a good chance I might watch said romantic Christmas movie.  Today we have Agent Gemma Simmons, as played by the very lovely and very British Elizabeth Henstridge in Christmas at the Plaza.  Now I am slightly curious why they didn't just allow Ms. Henstridge to speak in her natural Britishy voice in this movie, not that there was anything particularly wrong with her American accent, other than I couldn't quite place what American region that she and her linguistics coach were shooting for... it certainly wasn't northeastern where this movie takes place...  but if she stays British, and when her bestie asks if she's going to see her mom for Christmas, she could've simply said 'it's a long trip and I got this sweet Plaza gig, I'll see her after the holidays', as op…

Rediscovering Christmas (2019) - Lifetime

How do I randomly select these Holiday movies I choose to watch?  Well, it is a complex algorithm based on whether or not I recognize an actor from some show I saw.  Such as this movie called 'Rediscovering Christmas' which has Agent Tripp (B.J. Britt) from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. as one its stars.  A very complex algorithm which dictated why I watched a Once Upon a Christmas Miracle which starred Agent Grant Ward, and why I will watch Christmas at the Plaza which stars Agent Gemma Simmons.  Want me to watch your Christmas movie?  As simple as putting an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. in it.

Mia (Jessica Lowndes) is the head window designer at the department store of the oppressive Mrs. Barrington (The legendary Jessica Walters), and it being the holiday season, it is up to Mia to make a window design that's going to knock Mrs. Barrington out!  Her big promotion depends on it.  A promotion to what... Supreme Window Designer?  I never quite g…

Christmas Hotel (2019) - Hallmark

Christmas may be over my little brothers and sisters, but that does NOT mean that we have to stop watching this nonsense!  It's a new decade, new opportunities, new challenges and I imagine all kinds of changes will be happening in the months to come, but what will not change is the tried and true formula for the Romantic Christmas Movie.  And today for your approval we offer up Christmas Hotel, a movie for all of those who hate change, or in other words, those of us who like people we recognize in stories we all know the ending to.

Ashley Banks (Tatyana Ali) is a hard working, Christmas averse, intensely driven big city working woman who is moving up the hotel real estate ladder, just a few steps away from her dream assignment in Rome Italy.  Seriously, she wants this assignment more than anything in the world.  But to nail down this deal her boss needs her to close the deal on the companies new hotel in her old hometown of Snowyville USA.  Ashle…

So I'm watching my show Mr. Inbetween, which everybody should watch because the show is crazy awesome, and Ray and his boy were having a discussion about the best Bonds.  Of course they settled on Connery with a lot of banter about those who fell below.  Then Ray asked who was the best Batman to which they both said, in unison, 'Keaton'.  Well not so fast my Australian friends!  I do believe that is a topic worthy of some discussion.

Iain Glen (Titans) - Mr. Glen, my man who played the arch villain in those Resident Evil movies, though others seem to know him by some TV show on HBO he was on, has the misfortune of being on the bottom of this list, though it's really not his fault.  I mean it's kind of his fault because he accepted the role, but it's really not his fault.  Plus he never gets to be Batman, only Bruce Wayne, at least so far.  Glen's Bruce Wayne credentials are admirable.  He seems smart, he reeks of someone who comes from money and he does come…

Holiday Rush (2019) - Netflix

See that picture to up there of all those happy people?  That picture is a lie!  Man, those people are miserable AF!  I mean you are gonna have to watch a lot of holiday movies this season to find some people as f'n miserable as those brothers and sisters right there.  But then that picture represents the end of the movie which dictates everyone has to be happy.  The path to this contrived joy... well... that might be the problem here.

Say hello to Rush Williams (Romany Malco) the hottest morning show DJ in NYC on whatever radio station this is, with this success largely attributed to the hard work of his producer Roxy (Sonequa Martin-Green).  Now I don't know what a local radio host makes, but Rush is straight paid.  He has this giant, beautiful gated home off of a lake somewhere in NYC, which the land itself has to cost millions, and this fantastic life he lives has allowed him to spoil his children into being some of worst, most entitled human …

I was eighteen years old when I took over Thanksgiving turkey duties from my mother.  Now my mom was phenomenal cook, but her turkey, like so many others turkeys, tended to be a little bit on the dry side.  At the time I was bussing tables at this little restaurant off of Euclid in St. Louis where the chef, Surly Sue, a woman who taught me as much about the art cooking, if not more, than even my mother, showed me how to roast a never-dry turkey.  Basically this consists of splitting the turkey down the middle at the breast, lots of butter and 30 minute basting intervals, and true enough, the turkey hasn't had a dry slice ever since.  30+ years on  I've gone from roasting to smoking to my current technique of sticking the bird in the Rotisserie oven, and still... never a dry slice.

But now I'm getting up there a bit, tire more easily than I used to, still got dressing, mac n' cheese, this unique potato dish, among other things to prepare, so while making a trip to Pope…