Showing posts from 2017

Day Fourteen - Switched at Christmas

Switched at Christmas (2017) - Hallmark

It has been two years and almost fifty movies, but we’ve finally stumbled onto one starring the ubiquitous Holiday Movie actress, Candace Cameron Bure.  Did you know that she’s Kirk Cameron’s younger sister?  I did not know this.  Possibly because I was unaware of this young lady’s existence before a few days ago.  Nice to meet you Ms. Cameron Bure. 
Kate and Chris (Bure) are twin sisters leading two very different lives.  Kate is a single, high flying real-estate executive living in a downtown Denver penthouse, while her sister Chris is a high school teaching divorced mom of two, living about an hour away in the suburb of Littleton.  Oddly enough, the twins don’t see each other much.  I was going to say because it’s more cost effective, special effects wise, to keep the twins apart but I gotta say this movie did a phenomenal job of seamlessly putting Both Candace Cameron Bure’s in the scene at the same time, quite a few times.
Anyway, their dad (…

Day Thirteen - A Prince for Christmas

A Prince for Christmas (2015) - ION TV

And we've arrived at the end of this leg of the journey, watching nothing but Royal Themed holiday Christmas movies, with 'A Prince for Christmas', but there are a couple of glaring omissions that unfortunately holds it down.

Emma (Viva Bianca) is a diner owner / operator in some cold, snowy northeastern town, but despite the love of her baby sister Alice (Brittany Beery), Emma is always sad.  Her parents died a few years back returning from buying a Christmas Tree, thus she's not too fond of Christmas and hates trees in particular, Her boyfriend Todd the used car salesman (Aaron O'Connell) is a bit of a jerk and she's dumped him, though Todd refuses to accept this, and is she sick of working in a diner and wants to see the world.

Halfway around the world in the small country of Balemont, I think, resides prince Duncan (Kirk Barker).  In seven days time he is slated to be married to some woman he barely knows, but he wants…

Day Twelve - My Christmas Prince

My Christmas Prince (2017) - Lifetime

NOT to be confused with A Prince for Christmas, A Princess for Christmas, or a Christmas Prince... we have My Christmas Prince.  A story about a girl who meets a Prince whose royal family isn't down with this nonsense, until her spunky Americaness wins them all over.  I understand if reading that didn't elicit a Kaiser Soze type response.

Samantha (Alexis Knapp) is a hardworking educator living in NYC dating Alexander (Callum Alexander), the charming diplomat from Maldelvia.  These two kids seem to be getting along fabulously, but what Samantha doesn't know is that Alexander is actually the Crown Prince of Maldelvia, not a lowly diplomat, which will be exposed to her when she heads back to Maple Falls Wyoming to hang with the family for the holidays.

Sam is a little upset by the deception, but as it turns out he's still the blandly handsome, boring, cardboard stiff dude she's been dating for the past year, so no harm no foul.  …

Day Eleven - Crown for Christmas

A Crown for Christmas (2015) - Hallmark

Soldiering forward with our senseless foray into TV Romantic Christmas movies, with this moment in time consisting of the subset of Royal Romantic Christmas movies, we are heading to the fictional land of Winshire, while spending time with another fabulously named butler in Fergus McDuffin (Pavel Douglas) though he still comes in second to the more fabulously named Paisley Winterbottom.

Say hello to Allie (Danica McKellar),  who wakes up in the morning, fresh out of bed, before brushing her teeth, looking like this...

Only to be sadly transformed, mere minutes later as she gets ready for a crap job in some crap hotel into looking like this =➤

If we need anymore proof that a job is the absolute worst thing in the world,  Allie the beautiful artist turning into Allie the haggard house maid should close the book on all of that.

And the worst part is that she's about to lose this crap job, at Christmas, because her boss is an asshole.  Fortunately Fe…

Day Ten - A Royal Chirstmas

A Royal Christmas (2014) - Hallmark

We continue our streak of Royal Christmas movies, this time going to the land of Cordonia, but this time with a difference because apparently some people out there have turned watching these Christmas movies into some kind of drinking game!  Why didn't someone tell me this sooner?

The lady's name is Brittany Graves and here it the link, But we will list her rules here...

Day Nine - A Princess for Christmas

A Princess for Christmas (2011) - Hallmark

This was tad bit disappointing.  Not the movie itself which was what it was, but the only reason I’m watching these Royal Christmas movies is to spend some time in an invented, imaginary country that for some foolish reason still recognizes a monarchy.This movie here, A Princess for Christmas, couldn’t even take the time to do that for us.I guess the late Sir Roger Moore, having been knighted and all, felt it was beneath him to be the King of Fakeasscountryistan and instead was just some random Duke who I assume is part of the House of Windsor.What a disappointment.Anyway, on to the movie.

Jules (Katy McGrath) is a hardworking… you know what, it doesn’t matter what Jules does or even where she’s from.  Just know that Jules is the guardian of her six year old niece Maddie (Leilah de Meza) and fifteen year old nephew Milo (Travis Turner), because their parents were murdered around Christmastime last year.  Or died in a car accident.  I can’t reme…

Day Eight - A Royal Christmas Ball

A Royal Christmas Ball (2017) - Ion TV

Because of the crapterpiece that was ‘A Christmas Prince’, I’ve decided to spend the next few days knocking off Royal Christmas movies.  Why?  Because ‘A Christmas Prince’ was so inspirational we want to experience all the magic that Royal Christmas movies have to offer?  Of course not.  Since using real royals are apparently off limits, we just want to see the names of the fake countries the filmmakers dream up.  That’s pretty much it.
Say hello to Charles (Ingo Rademacher), King of the European nation Baltavia!  Not to be confused with the last fake country we visited, Aldovia.  Not quite sure what actual nation the Baltavians were trying to imitate as their accents were all over the place.  Charles was fading in and out with a light European / straight American accent, his ambassador Rosa (Mira Furlan) was rolling heavy Eastern European – the actress is Yugoslav so she was probably speaking in her natural voice - , his body guard looked to lapse…

Day Seven - A Christmas Prince

A Christmas Prince (2017) - Netflix

I thought I had just called it.  Squashed it.  Put an end to it.  I came down from upon high just a couple days ago and made the proclamation that no movie, ever again, will have a character with a secret, meet with this character they are keeping the obvious secret from and say “wait… I have something I have to tell you” and then NOT tell them.  A Christmas Prince obviously did not get the memo.  But that’s okay, because ‘A Christmas Prince’, from Netflix no less, clearly studied every Christmas movie from Hallmark / Lifetime / Ion / UPTv / TVOne and BET and copied them ALL.  This thing is almost a parody of a Hallmark Christmas movie.
Say hello to Amber (Rose McIver) the junior magazine editor who just wants her big writing break.  She gets this break as the current Prince of Aldovia has mere days to claim the throne of his late father, who has been dead almost a year, or it goes to the next in the line of succession.  Plus there are all kind of jui…