Film Critics United

Just saw the screener for the Wayans new movie 'Dance Flick' which really wasn't all that bad. Nonetheless here is the opening paragraph of my soon to be posted review. If this movie ‘Dance Flick’ fails Director Damien Wayans and the Wayans family, a group of people which I believe constitutes 35% of the population of the state of New York, can personally thank Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg for this failure. If you aren’t familiar with the names of those two gentlemen then that’s great for you but if you do know the ‘comedy’ team of Seltzer and Friedberg like we know them then you are well aware this duo has singlehandedly atomic bombed the ‘spoof’ genre. Probably forever. Mind you this is not a genre without some history or legacy my friends, mined with hard work, sweat equity and comic precision by the likes of Mel Brooks and the Zucker brothers and don’t get me started on the near genius of Damon Wayans own ‘I’m Gonna Git you Sucka’. And while the whole ‘Scary ...

Went to my first ever Comicon this past weekend with the esteemed Arvell Jones who I have observed knows every single person who's ever had anything to do with a comic book in the history of the planet earth. I was actually there to hoping score an interview with Tony Todd for an upcoming Totally Twisted Flix episode featuring the actor but alas he sold out the Motor City Comicon so no interview was to be scored. I did manage to get an interview Ryan Thompson who directed the locally produced 'Zombie Holocaust'. But amidst the Princess Leia's and stormtroopers and Boba Fett's were a string of old school actors hawking autographs and stuff for spare change. Yancy Butler, Joyce Dewitt, the cat that played Larry on Three's Company, Gil Gerard and Erin Grey, Eric Atavari, Garrett Wang, Kristy Swanson and a gaggle of old playmates just to name a few. But most importantly we saw TAIMAK! The Last Dragon baby! A very nice dude. I would've gotten a picture to...

The good thing about the summer movie season is that they release a crapload of big budget movies that I get to see for free. The bad part is that I have to go see these movies. I prefer to stay at home and watch old exploitation movies, low budget straght to DVD action flicks and ancient kung fu flicks. Now that's entertainment. The movie that preceeded this flick Angels and Demons, the gawdawful 'The DaVinci Code' had a budget of 125 million dollars. How in the hell can you make a bad movie with a 125 million bucks at your disposal? Anyway I'm going to assume that they gave Ron Howard even more money to make this movie because it was like ten times better than 'The Davinci Code'. My guestimate is this flick must have had a budget of 640 million dollars. Angels and Demons

We don't know why, we wish we knew why, but when Steven Seagal releases his quarterly action flick we still get as giddy as a fat kid in an ice cream shoppe. Sure we recognize that 85% of the movies that Steve, I feel I can call him Steve due to our very close one sided relationship... anyway 85% of the movies that Steve has released this decade have been absolutely terrible and some would say that 85% is being quite generous, but I watch them all regardless. I've just gotten the notice that his latest Straight to DVD flick 'Driven to Kill' is primed and ready to go. Oh happy joy! Three word title? check. character who's a retired super badass? check. Skinny stunt man on stand by? check. We've already done two shows on Totally Twisted Flix dedicated to the Straight to DVD work of Steve with enough material for two more. I cannot wait for my personal copy of 'Driven to Kill' to arrive in the mail to see what the one who ' walks like a Blac...

That's what that new Star Trek movie was. I'm no fan of IMAX for regular movies because it's just and extra big rectangle but the movie was some damn fine entertainment. It's not MacBeth or anything but I wouldn't mind seeing it again at regular theater. Star Trek

I'm off to the Chrysler Science center IMAX theater to check out the press screener for the new Star Trek movie. I gotta be honest and tell you that for me this is basically just another movie to see, a movie with Zoe Saldana in it, but still just another movie. I even made it available to my people at Decode who I know live and breathe this stuff but alas I'm the only one can regularly turn in a review on time so all systems go. I would imagine there should be freaks galore at the event and here I am without my Federation sanctioned uniform. This weekend I'll probably revisit 'Star Trek: The Motion Picture' which literally put me to sleep as a ten year old in 1979.

So I'm big boxing fan. This ain't got jack to do with movies by the way. When they announced the Pacquiao /Hatton fight I was thinking there is no way that Ricky Hatton had a chance in hell of winning that fight. Especially since he got beat up by Mayweather a year earlier and considering what Pacquiao did to De LaHoya. Then they started hyping the thing with HBO and the trainers whispering in my ear on what a challenging fight this was gonna be, and damn if I didn't start listening and believing that Hatton had a real chance to challenge Pacquiao. I was gonna say 'one day I'll learn' but it's way too late in the game for learning for me. KTFO'd in the second round. I don't want to say that the 'sweet science' is dead but I can't remember it being any sicker in my lifetime than it is right now.

Alrighty then, we might as well start this thing off by posting something from Totally Twisted Flix as most of you can't getto channel 9407 on Dish Network. Regardless, TTF is the movie show dedicated to only Direct to DVD movies as the intro should inform. More or Less. Note that I was not born with a face for TV. We'll be dropping the occasional video review on the blog over the course of time. Audio sounds like I'm talking in public bathroom. Got that fixed later on.