Film Critics United

Boxing Day (2021) Boxing Day is a very important Britishy thing that I could explain to you what it is and how it came about, but if you're Britishy, you already know and if you aren't, you probably don't care to hear it from me, so just understand that it is the title of this movie and we will move on. Melvin, played by writer, director and star of this film Amil Ameen, is a British author now living in Los Angeles and is madly in love with the criminally lovely Lisa (Aja Naomi King).  So in love with Lisa he is, Melvin sprinkles the house with rose petals and hires a band to play some Isley Brothers as a background for his proposal, because that's some stuff that only a dude in love would do.  And maybe that guy from 'You'.  There are a ton of hiccups in this marriage proposal though.  A ton.  On Lisa's end, as a casting director, she has just gotten offered a plum gig to go to New Zealand to cast Peter Jackson's new movie, and more pressing, she is pr...

Much Ado About Christmas (2021) - Peacock Reviewed by Lisa Sue Well of course Peacock is in on the Christmas movie binging, and what to my wandering eyes should appear but “Much Ado About Christmas” billed as a modern day retelling of the Bard’s Much Ado About Nothing.  I’m no Shakespeare expert, and it has been decades since I read or even watched (the Kenneth Branagh edition) of Much Ado, but I admit dear readers to falling prey to that which I warn you often of. Great Expectations. While most Christmas movies do some version of Dicken’s A Christmas Carol or even a Jane Austen adaptation, you don’t find many out and out attempting the bard. After watching this, I can only encourage others to leave the bard alone, for their sake and mine.  For when you put a paint by the numbers Christmas movie against the wit and wisdom of Shakespeare? Well, not only does the movie pale in comparison, but I dare say the Bard would be offended? Or maybe not, pending his cut. But as I said, I ...

A Christmas Witness (2021)  - Ion Reviewed by Lisa Sue So people we have arrived at what is perhaps the least natural pairing at Christmas, the mob and a cop! Cause what screams Christmas more than a mob guy in witness protection and his protecting officer? I mean, we’ve already had cartography, so this was the next out there Christmas movie that was just demanding to be watched IMHO . Also noticing this an ION production, I was curious as to how close to the script they would keep?  Overall impression is that this is more a romcom that happens at Christmastime than a strictly a Christmas movie with romance, but let’s set up the premise.  Dean Cupo (Colin Egglesfield) is some high up in the mob world, working for Mr. Dinozzo (No relation to the NCIS agent.) We know that Mr. Dinozzo is a mob boss because 1. His name 2. We first see him smoking a cigar. Very stereotypical Italian American mob guy, wondering out there if anyone is offended by such a portrayal? Just curious. ...

The Christmas House 2 (2021) - Hallmark Reviewed by Lisa Sue So of all the Christmas movies I watched in 2020; The Christmas House was actually my favorite. Was it the clips of Handsome Justice? Was it the maniacal sibling rivalry between Brandon and Mike? Or was it because Katy Perry’s   ‘Cozy Little Christmas’ made it to the playlist (never to dethrone Mimi, never)? Yes to all. Now as pointed out in The Nine Kittens of Christmas, these movies really don’t need a sequel, and the ending of 2020’s Christmas House seemed to be sending them off into happily ever after land. However the Mitchells are back, with the sibling rivalry in full swing and Mike and Andi are still together, but after all this time (with maybe 2 Christmases that have past, and Brandon’s baby son has now a toddler) Mike still hasn’t proposed. We assume Andi and Noah live with Mike in the Christmas house, leaving Andi’s mom’s house (which is next door) now available for Brandon and his family of four to occupy...

Holiday in Santa Fe (2021) - Lifetime Reviewed by Lisa Sue After watching so many of these, one tends to blend them all together. Rarely does one of these movies stick out, or set itself apart. The draw of this particular movie is Slater himself, Mario Lopez.  Casual readers of this blog will know we have a soft spot for Slater.  It is really quite inexplainable, not actually being a Saved by the Bell Fan. But combine romance and KFC? And you have a fan Mr. Lopez.  And kudos for this movie, that while the plot may be by the book the setting isn’t. With Santa Fe as the backdrop, there is no snow fight and everything is more colorful than the typical New Englandish type Christmases we’ve come to expect in these movies. Plus learned some interesting facts about Santa Fe; It is the second oldest city in the country, after St. Augustine and it is the state capital with the highest elevation. To those who say TV doesn’t teach you anything, they just aren’t watching closely enou...

Adventures in Christmasing (2021) - VH1 World famous daytime TV talk show host Parker Baldwin (Kim Fields) is a woman who likes to be in control of the situation.  Naturally this need for control and precise planning stems back to her dead mom, because if we've learned one thing from watching these movies, it is that no one has it rougher than somebody's mom in one of these Holiday Romantic movies because 90 percent of the time they are dead.  Cancer, car accidents, serial killed... Dead.  Thus Parker is quite upset at her producer (Jonathan Silverman) when he springs a sudden guest on her, that she didn't have time to prep for, in famed adventurer Finn Holt (Adrian Holmes).  We know Finn is an adventurer because he repels from the ceiling into Parker's set, because that's some stuff that only adventurous dudes do.  Finn's schtick is taking celebrities on dangerous adventures, so imagine Parker's surprise when her producers arrange for her to go on a Christm...

Maps and Mistletoe (2021) - Hallmark Say hello to Emilia (Humberly Gonzalez), the most adorable cartographer who has ever lived.  I assume.  Admittedly, I have never met a cartographer, and this would be the first movie I've seen in my life which has a cartographer as its main character, or a movie that has a cartographer who was any character, but I'm pretty sure those cartographers can't be any more adorable than Emilia.  It's the holidays in... I don't know... let's call it Crescent Ridge Illinois, or whatever small midwestern town Vancouver and these Canadians are pretending to be in this movie, and with Emilia's parents in New Zealand visiting her sister's family, Emilia has plans for a nice Christmas alone.  But not so fast! There is somebody in Crescent Corner causing a stir, taking pictures of stuff.  This would be famed TV explorer Drew Campbell and his next story has bought him to Crescent Oaks to get a feeling for an authentic small town Chris...

A Castle for Christmas (2021) - Netflix Ah Brooke Shields.  Kids, when I was a teenager... actually, when I was teenager Brooke was a teenager too, just a couple years older, but when I was teenager Ms. Brooke was a BIG DEAL.  A legit teenage movie star that girl.  My best friend at the time, the late great Phillip Bronaugh loved Brooke so much he had posters of her all over his wall.  Used to talk about this girl he will never meet all the time, and how they would live their life together.  Today we would call that obsession he had with Brooke 'unhealthy'.  If Phillip were around today he'd be very pleased to see his high school crush from the Blue Lagoon and Endless Love still in the game doing the thing, such as making completely run of the mill Romantic Holiday movies like this one from Netflix.   Sophie (Brooke) is a hugely successful novelist who is going through a bit of a crisis.  She's killed off a beloved character from her novel se...

Candy Coated Christmas (2021) - Discovery+ Discovery Plus huh?  Sure, why not.  I mean if you can make Cake Wars and Destination Fear, you can make a Hallmarky Christmas movie.  And rest assured my friends, after watching this one, it is clear that the creators behind this film have seen their fair share of Hallmarky Christmas movies. Molly (Molly McCook) is a high flying marketing something or another, working at the hotel chain of her magnate father Fred (John McCook).  So whenever they name a character after the actors real name, it's always been my assumption that this actor had trouble responding to other names.  Also, Ms. McCook has her real life father playing her dad in this movie, which helps me out a bit in that one of the things I've always found strange about acting,  of all of the pretend things that actors have to do, is calling somebody who is not my mom or dad, mommy or daddy.  I don't know why that weirds me out, but it just does. Anyw...