Film Critics United

In the movie 'The Help', Minnie the Maid, wonderfully played by actress Octavia Spencer, made the statement that there is something about Fried Chicken that makes everyone feel good. Or something like that. Never have truer words been spoken. We're talking real live, authentic, home brewed fried chicken over here. While KFC is decent chicken and all, if you have more than four pieces in a sitting you're not going to be feeling real good for a while. What you may not know is that your boy Armstead, that's me, makes arguably the greatest fried chicken wing in the history of existence of the universe. Arguably. Unlike KFC, if you eat twenty of Armstead's chicken wings, which is recommended for health reasons, the only thing you will be thinking about is that twenty first chicken wing. For real. And here's how it's done. The ingredients are simple. Grab about a dozen chicken wings, obviously. Not dings, but full wings. This isn't BW3. ...

Last Friday when I went to sleep I didn't want an HP Touchpad, just like nobody else on the planet Earth wanted an HP Touchpad. In fact I didn't want any kind of tablet since I don't particularly have a use for one. Then that Saturday when I woke up... since nobody on the planet Earth wanted an HP Touchpad... HP discontinued the HP Touchpad and had a fire sale. $99 for an HP Touchpad. I figured 'why not get an HP Touchpad'. What I didn't realize is that $99 is the sweet spot for massive insanity, chaos, mayhem, and essentially the end of society as we know it. As it turns out I'd have a better chance at a romantic interlude in Paris with Gabrielle Union while Salma Hayek is waiting at the hotel for us to finish up, than getting a $99 HP Touchpad. Oh wait... That's Paris thing has happened already. Forget I mentioned it. So I place an online order at this poor beleaguered resale outfit Onsale.com, through Amazon, for my Touchpad. Clicking ...

I'm reading one these trade magazines I get, because I'm like a really important Multimedia Professional and stuff right, and an article in this periodical is bemoaning the dropping stock prices of companies that provide 3D for movies and the poor sales for 3D TV's and the like. They observe that for the latest 3D movies, like Pirates 4 or Thor, that 60% percent of audiences opted for the regular old 2D version as opposed to the 3D versions. They theorize that because of the economy, maybe the public just isn't willing to pony up an extra 3 or 4 bucks for the 3D premium. Maybe. Or maybe the 3D in these movie suck. I'm no market researcher, but I think that's your answer Mr. Stock Analyst. Now I didn't say the movies suck, though some surely do, but the 3D in these movies suck. Out of the fifteen or so movies I've seen in 3D, three of them have had decent 3D. 'Avatar', 'Beowulf' and 'Resident Evil: Afterlife'. That...