Touchpad MADNESS!!!


Last Friday when I went to sleep I didn't want an HP Touchpad, just like nobody else on the planet Earth wanted an HP Touchpad. In fact I didn't want any kind of tablet since I don't particularly have a use for one. Then that Saturday when I woke up... since nobody on the planet Earth wanted an HP Touchpad... HP discontinued the HP Touchpad and had a fire sale. $99 for an HP Touchpad. I figured 'why not get an HP Touchpad'. What I didn't realize is that $99 is the sweet spot for massive insanity, chaos, mayhem, and essentially the end of society as we know it. As it turns out I'd have a better chance at a romantic interlude in Paris with Gabrielle Union while Salma Hayek is waiting at the hotel for us to finish up, than getting a $99 HP Touchpad. Oh wait... That's Paris thing has happened already. Forget I mentioned it.

So I place an online order at this poor beleaguered resale outfit Onsale.com, through Amazon, for my Touchpad. Clicking 'buy now' was the amount of effort that I was willing to expend for this thing I didn't want a day before, and I don't need now. Tragically I never got a Touchpad, and I'm good with that, but what has been fascinating is watching my deal site's and peoples tireless purists for the $99 HP Touchpad. You could stand in line at Best Buy, get there real early before they open and get a ticket that will allow you to buy a Touchpad, or you could keep refreshing the HP site and hope like hell it comes back online for a few seconds, or try one one Wally's joints, his Mart or his Club which don't have any, or travel to the business stores, Staples, Offices Max and Depot, and badger the red shirts into relinquishing the ones YOU KNOW they are hiding in the back and plan to sell on Craigs List. You could do that. Or you could just buy an Ipad or a Galaxy.

But most of the anger and hostility has been levied at poor Onsale.com. Those idiots had the nerve to run out of stock of this thing that nobody wanted the day before. Where Onsale screwed up was that they couldn't update the Amazon order section to let people know that they weren't getting their orders and that it was eventually going to be cancelled for most. This gave people hope. And when that hope was destroyed, Onsale being the last chance for these poor people to get this thing they didn't want a few days earlier... Onsale has to pay. Thus Onsale, which by all accounts has been a solid online retailer, has seen their approval rating drop to unprecedented depths. You'd think they were President Obama or something.

Now these $99 dollar things that nobody wanted are showing up on Ebay and Craigslist and many other sites for a little less than they used to cost originally. And now people are buying this thing they didn't want a few days earlier. HP executives are baffled. Yesterday you thought you loved your mom. Today, you'd kidney punch your mom to get in front of her at Best Buy to buy this thing you didn't want. That nobody wanted.

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