Thursday, June 26, 2014

The People vs. George Lucas

 Recently we watched the documentary 'The People vs. George Lucas' which was pretty darned entertaining whether you are a Star Wars freak or just a casual fan... or even if you never heard of George Lucas.  I'm pretty casual in my fandom of Star Wars... more of a Star Trek guy... something we will have to discuss in a future podcast, with Lisa being firmly in the Star Wars camp.  Regardless here are our respective reviews of the documentary.

Chris's Verdict.

Lisa's Rebuttal

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Ladies of Adam Sandler pt. III

Finally, Rolando's shameless ranking of the ladies that have shown up in Adam Sandler movies is coming to a close.  While we here at the FCU are opposed to the mindless and baseless exploitation of women in cinema, and find the practice completely deplorable... whaddayagonnado?

5. Winona Ryder - Mr. Deeds

Ahh... Winona.  Just as fresh faced and lovely now, well into your forties, as you were in your twenties when we saw you for the first time in that movie 'Lucas'.  And we are so happy that you fared better than some of your co-stars in that movie considering Corey Haim is dead and Charlie Sheen is insane.  Sure, there was that shoplifting incident a few years back, but Winona told us that she was researching a role, and if Winona tells us she was researching a role, then by golly... she was researching a role.  The movie 'Mr. Deeds'... well I'm sure we saw it, but we sure don't remember anything about it other than the fact that the beautiful woman we remember from that movie 'Heathers' was in it.    And that's all we need to know.

 4.  Jennifer Anniston - Just Go With It

We saw the commercial Jennifer, where you ask 'what's the secret to perfect skin?'... while you mentioned whatever product you were shilling as the secret, you should've closed out with '... and being born beautiful doesn't hurt either'.  And while we've only seen maybe a half of an episode of 'Friends', we've seen well over half of the movies you've made, even though most of them were awful.  That's called 'Star Power' right there.  Seriously.  We don't know what Brad was thinking.  Admittedly, his current wife would be pretty high on this list too, had she appeared in a movie with Adam Sandler, but we would still rank you higher.

3. Kate Beckinsale - Click

Exquisite, Classy, Sophisticated... all words that Rolando would use to describe this lovely lass from London, Kate Beckinsale.  And we've seen enough of 'Underworld' to know that Kate can rock tight vinyl with the best of them.  In fact, while Click wasn't a terrible movie and Kate was absolutely gorgeous in it, imagine how awesome it would've been if Adam wasn't in it at all, and they got rid of those kids, and they dressed Kate in her Underworld black vinyl, or less even... not that we champion that kind of thing... added a few werewolves and vampires and then just called the movie Underworld V... that would've been an awesome movie.

2. Jessica Biel: I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

In this film, Adam pretended to be gay, which meant Jessica paraded around in various forms of undress around this guy, because he's gay and won't be interested, right?  Even though this woman has the unique power to make gay dudes straight.  I've seen it.  'While Justin Timberlake might be younger, prettier, richer and way more talented than me, and I don't envy any of those advantages that he has, I might envy this one here'.  That's a direct quote from Rolando.  '7th Heaven' did a piss poor job of preparing the world for this.  That's a direct quote from me.

1. Salma Hayek - Grown Ups; Grown Ups 2

Number one was pretty much a foregone conclusion, now wasn't it?  The only way Salma could conceivably get knocked off the top spot is if Adam Sandler were to jump in a time machine, go back to 1998, and make a movie with Halle Berry.  Even then it would be a toss up.  True enough, Grown Ups was a terrible movie, but Salma was resplendent amidst that awfulness.  True enough, Grown Ups 2 was even worse, and Salma looked as if she added a few pounds, but Rolando observed that those extra pounds went straight to her hips, and we can't rightly penalize someone for that now can we?  No we can't Rolando.  No we can't. 

So there you go, the Ladies of Adam Sandler as presented to you by Rolando.  Agree or disagree... take it up with him.  I had little or nothing to do with this. 

Saturday, June 21, 2014

A Workplace Tragedy...

On Fridays, me an my colleague Lisa congregate early in the morning at our place of business to discuss the current days coming events, along with some gourmet Kuerig coffee and custom creamer, funds for the coffee and the creamer which we have paid for ourselves.  On this particular Friday morning, our creamer was stolen.  Not just one of the half used gourmet coffee creamers we had purchased, but both of them.  This a tragedy in the workplace unlike any I have ever seen... that don't include mass shootings. 

What kind of person does this kind of thing?  How black is one's soul that they feel the need to rip away what little joy one gets out of going to work every single day?

The following podcast, which normally would have been used to discuss the next episode of a WOOFF Fan Film, is instead one that features two people trying to sort out what kind of terrible world that we live in where these kinds of things happen, without regards to the victims.

If you take anything from this horrible, horrible act... as we know going in that you aren't this person, because a person that listens to WOOFF wouldn't even think of stealing someone's creamer... But all we ask is if you see this happening, if you witness a crime like this in progress... stop it.  Ask this person to think of the consequences of his or her actions and make sure that no one has to go through something like this in your workplace.

Note that the audio engineer, who will remain nameless, has overwritten the first four minutes of this diatribe, so we join, as they say, our scheduled program already in progress.

Creamer Bandit Podcast