30 Days of Horrible Christmas Movies... Day Two - Becoming Santa

Becoming Santa (2015) - Lifetime

Connor (Jesse Hutch) loves him some Holly (Laura Bell Bundy).  Loves her so much he's about to pop that question, he just wants to do it all proper like, and ask her dad for her hand in marriage.  What Holly has failed to tell her man is that her dad is Santa Claus!  Oh snap!  If you watch this movie, get used to Holly failing to tell Connor important, life altering information. But Connor, who makes lame toys at some awful toy company for a living, will soon discover this critical info, and while at first it was a bit mind blowing... kicking it with St. Nick's baby girl is awesome!  And believe me when I tell you, Connor's toys are truly lame.  His 'Big Idea', in the year 2015, is a wooden dog with wheels that would've been a terrible toy in the year 1915.  But can I guarantee you by the end of this movie this awful toy will be the next Tickle Me Elmo in this reality.

But then there's that Jack Frost (Tony Cavelero), Holly's old boyfriend (Holly never mentioned him) who still wants Holly as his own and will stop at nothing to break them up.  But their love is strong... until it isn't... until it is again.  With most of the weakness in this relationship caused by Holly's lying ass.

So our second movie, Becoming Santa, is a bit different.  So is there a tired plot?  Well... not exactly.  It's a tired RomCom plot, but one wrapped around the gloss of Santa Claus, which is a sort of a high concept \ low brow approach so we can only give it one vomit for that.

Retread actors?  Yes, Meredith Baxter as Mrs. Claus has shown up in her fair share of Lifetime movies, but guess who plays Santa?  Michael Freaking Gross!  That's a Family Ties reunion, and that's some raw dog awesome right there.  No vomits for that.

Incessant Christmas styled music playing throughout?  Yes, and it seemed worse than usual and thus it earns another solid vomit.

Then there were some budget limitations, such as the elves.  We had one main elf, Mario, who is just a short guy as opposed to a dwarf, because I guess dwarfs are expensive, and when Connor stumbled on the Santa Factory (Holly never told him about it), it was filled with children pretending to be elves.  Who knew Santa was down with forced child labor?

Then we come to Holly who is the absolute worst.  Holly is a witch... or a mutant... or something...   She has superpowers, this much we know.  Always doing magic behind Connor's back.  She didn't tell her fiance that her parents were Mr. and Mrs. Claus, to keep it hidden that she lived in the North Pole she roofied Connor's hot cocoa... I mean she seriously drugged my man with her evil magic!  Who does that?  She lied to Connor over and over again, but the biggest lie?  The movie is called 'Becoming Santa', meaning anybody who marries this duplicitous tramp is required by mystic law to become the next Santa.  That's some important info to know when choosing a mate!

But despite Holly being a terrible person, the forced child labor, and Connor's terrible toy making abilities, Becoming Santa had a lot of charm and we can only muster up two vomits for it.



And another bonus... I believe Mrs. Claus First name is Martha, which means Batman totally wouldn't murder Holly in a fight.

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