Film Critics United

The Truth About Christmas (2018) - Freeform Here we are with another Christmas movie from Freeform.  Recognize that Freeform, formerly ABC Family, does not adhere, and has no desire to adhere to the classic Hallmark formula of Christmas movies and as such they tend do their own thing.  But of course once one is accustomed to seeing the same thing over and over again done a certain way, sudden change can be a bit jarring to said individual. We start off with one of these jarring, unsettling things in the movies opening scene.  Jillian (Kali Hawk) is awoken this morning due to a phone call from her bestie Zoe (Michela Cannon).  That's fairly normal but what isn't normal, at least in this section of the TV world we live in, is that there is some dude lying next to her, this dude being her politician boyfriend George (Damon Dayoub).  Oh my... are these two having (whispering) sex ?  Outside of marriage?  Somewhere Mike Pence weeps. All that aside,...

Memories of Christmas (2018) - The Hallmark Channel We were meekly complaining that last weeks movie, Kristen's Christmas Past, didn't have hardly any of the Hallmarky Christmas stuff in it, which we passed off to the movie simply not being aware, at the time it was made, that Hallmarky Christmas stuff was even a thing.  Not a problem with this one baby!  Man, in Memories of Christmas, they knocked out most of that stuff before the ten minute mark even passed.  The movie opens at a Christmas Party with a character named Noelle (Christina Millian) for goodness sakes, who of course is a super successful business woman who is Christmas Averse for some reason.  Circumstance forces her to travel home to Snowy Michigan to close her dead mom's estate where we meet Blandsome Canadian Actor 1 (Mark Taylor) hanging up Christmas lights, followed by her old wise neighbors coming in for hot cocoa, where they setup all the other stuff... such as caroling, baking, ice skating ...

Kristen's Christmas Past (2013) - Lifetime It's the eve before Christmas Eve in NYC and Kristin (Shiri Appleby) is heading off to a company Christmas party with her bestie Jamie (Will Kemp) and his terrible girlfriend, with Kristin dressed as Slutty Santa's Helper.  Now for anyone who might be offended by some potential gratuitous objectification, no worries for the absolutely lovely Ms. Appleby has a body type that prevents anything she wears from actually looking slutty.  Kristen is a bit of loser, has a dead end job and has lost yet another boyfriend so she plans on getting lit at this party before spending another Christmas Eve with her bestie, but he informs her he is heading back to their hometown in Cali to introduce his folks to his terrible girlfriend.  This makes Kristen sad because she will be all alone on Christmas Eve as she refuses to go back home because she hates her family, so she heads to the liquor store to get further lit up, but this is where th...

I collect action figures... because of course I do.  I'm an old nerd and old nerds don't die.  I mean eventually they do but not in spirit!  But we are here today to recount an Action Figure experience which I'm sure a majority of the people on the planet will find absolutely riveting. So I'm at Ollie's discount store, because I'm poor, and run across this action figure here. It's kind of a weird figure because Flash is wearing biker shorts and yellow high tops.  Not to mention he's wearing Zoom colors.  This has something to do with a Frank Miller comic that I'm unfamiliar with, but then my boy William accuses me of being a Marvel so I guess that's no surprise. I buy it because it's cheap and I have only one Flash figure, plus it has an Atom mini figure in it and the head of some angry old white dude. Now it's head of the angry old white dude that has me vexed because I honestly don't know who that is supposed to b...