The Truth About Christmas
The Truth About Christmas (2018) - Freeform
Here we are with another Christmas movie from Freeform. Recognize that Freeform, formerly ABC Family, does not adhere, and has no desire to adhere to the classic Hallmark formula of Christmas movies and as such they tend do their own thing. But of course once one is accustomed to seeing the same thing over and over again done a certain way, sudden change can be a bit jarring to said individual.
We start off with one of these jarring, unsettling things in the movies opening scene. Jillian (Kali Hawk) is awoken this morning due to a phone call from her bestie Zoe (Michela Cannon). That's fairly normal but what isn't normal, at least in this section of the TV world we live in, is that there is some dude lying next to her, this dude being her politician boyfriend George (Damon Dayoub). Oh my... are these two having (whispering) sex? Outside of marriage? Somewhere Mike Pence weeps.
All that aside, Jillian and George are very much in love, George being a councilman eyeing the mayorship of NYC with Jillian as his handler and power broker. This is a big weekend because Jillian gets to go up north to Meet the Parents, but she promised to bring this seasons hottest toy, a Dippy Dot or something, to George's niece. Think of the Dippy Dot as part Magic 8-ball and part Chucky from the Child's Play movies. The problem is that Jillian forgot to buy this thing so she's running all around the city until she finally finds one until some little girl snatches it from her. This leads to Jillian putting her political lying skills to use to get this back from this little girl, but unknown to Jillian she was being watched by Santa. Think of Santa in this movie as a cross between a demon and Agent Smith from the Matrix. You see this Santa has the ability to commandeer the body of anybody, against their will, who happens to be wearing a Santa Suit, and his HO HO HO's tend to eerily trail off and cackle. This movie is just an inch away from being a full blown horror movie.
Evil Santa curses Jillian by taking away her ability to lie, think that Jim Carey movie 'Liar Liar', which of course is a problem meeting George's folks. Thus when someone asks how something tastes or how a piece of art looks, Jillian simply cannot lie. And not only can she not lie, she also embellishes her truth with extra truth which seems easily avoidable. For instance, if asked 'Do these pants make my butt look big?' the truthful answer is yes, then walk away. But Jillian's answer would be 'Yes, and who knew Levi's made a size called super elephant ass'. I guess we can blame demon Santa for this. All the while the Dippy Dot is saying just terrible things to Jillian in private, in a very scary way, but of course turns back into just a normal Dippy Dot when people walk in the room, just like Chucky used to do.
Thing is people find Jillian's new found frankness refreshing, especially George's brother Blake (Ali Ghandour) which had me worried that he was going to run game on his brother's girl, which is never cool, but this is Freeform so you never know. I mean when Jillian told George she has a curse, George replied with 'it's your period?' Besides being a bit insensitive and 400 years behind the times... come on Freeform. Anyway, it all works out, the truth sets everybody free and even saves George's budding political career with George still getting on a knee to propose. Happily ever after! BUT NOT SO FAST!!! Which we will talk about in a bit.
So you might notice the one word missing from that description above is the word 'Christmas'. We need stop the WAR ON CHRISTMAS!!! Actually, it wasn't mentioned because Christmas isn't important in this Christmas movie for as we mentioned, Freeform tends to do things different. There was snow, there were Christmas songs though they were generic poppy type songs as opposed to generic classic Christmas songs, there were ornaments in the background and somebody might've had some cocoa, but I can't remember. Yes, there was a Santa but he was just Satan masquerading as Santa, which Jillian's bestie even made it a point to mention that possibility, and the one gift that was given was also demon possessed. So no snowball fights, Christmas caroling, or boy losing girl... in the regular way at least, or a near miss kiss because our boy and our girl were already having completely on target sex, or orphan kids or any of the stuff we've come to expect from these movies. Note that none of this makes this a bad movie, and despite the fact it is ridiculously derivative of a bunch of other movies, Kali Hawk by herself did make this movie kind of watchable.
But here's where they messed up. Here's where we have to give this movie The Business. At the end of the day, no matter what the Christmas movie unless it's Rudolph or something, and I think even Rudolph got the girl, these movies are about our heroine getting a man. At Christmas. It's more important than Jesus, Family, Career, Oxygen and Life! Get That Man! True enough our heroine in this movie already has a man, and her sudden bout of truth telling only made him fall more deeply in love with her. But then, with everything she ever wanted within her grasps, she rejects this man because... sigh... she needs to discover who she is. Find herself. Apparently this is what telling the truth has done to this poor delusional girl. Freeform! While I get you do things a little different in your corner of Christmas, THIS ONE THING MUST NOT CHANGE!!! There are little girls out there that are going to be watching this stuff! Do we want our little girls thinking they should be self-sufficient and relying on themselves? Pursuing their own dreams? Or do we want them to GET A MAN! I don't think I even need to answer that, now do I? Just ask Candace Cameron Bure, who happens to be a legitimate woman, which way this needs to go.. Freeform. Jeez.
Here we are with another Christmas movie from Freeform. Recognize that Freeform, formerly ABC Family, does not adhere, and has no desire to adhere to the classic Hallmark formula of Christmas movies and as such they tend do their own thing. But of course once one is accustomed to seeing the same thing over and over again done a certain way, sudden change can be a bit jarring to said individual.
We start off with one of these jarring, unsettling things in the movies opening scene. Jillian (Kali Hawk) is awoken this morning due to a phone call from her bestie Zoe (Michela Cannon). That's fairly normal but what isn't normal, at least in this section of the TV world we live in, is that there is some dude lying next to her, this dude being her politician boyfriend George (Damon Dayoub). Oh my... are these two having (whispering) sex? Outside of marriage? Somewhere Mike Pence weeps.
All that aside, Jillian and George are very much in love, George being a councilman eyeing the mayorship of NYC with Jillian as his handler and power broker. This is a big weekend because Jillian gets to go up north to Meet the Parents, but she promised to bring this seasons hottest toy, a Dippy Dot or something, to George's niece. Think of the Dippy Dot as part Magic 8-ball and part Chucky from the Child's Play movies. The problem is that Jillian forgot to buy this thing so she's running all around the city until she finally finds one until some little girl snatches it from her. This leads to Jillian putting her political lying skills to use to get this back from this little girl, but unknown to Jillian she was being watched by Santa. Think of Santa in this movie as a cross between a demon and Agent Smith from the Matrix. You see this Santa has the ability to commandeer the body of anybody, against their will, who happens to be wearing a Santa Suit, and his HO HO HO's tend to eerily trail off and cackle. This movie is just an inch away from being a full blown horror movie.
Evil Santa curses Jillian by taking away her ability to lie, think that Jim Carey movie 'Liar Liar', which of course is a problem meeting George's folks. Thus when someone asks how something tastes or how a piece of art looks, Jillian simply cannot lie. And not only can she not lie, she also embellishes her truth with extra truth which seems easily avoidable. For instance, if asked 'Do these pants make my butt look big?' the truthful answer is yes, then walk away. But Jillian's answer would be 'Yes, and who knew Levi's made a size called super elephant ass'. I guess we can blame demon Santa for this. All the while the Dippy Dot is saying just terrible things to Jillian in private, in a very scary way, but of course turns back into just a normal Dippy Dot when people walk in the room, just like Chucky used to do.
Thing is people find Jillian's new found frankness refreshing, especially George's brother Blake (Ali Ghandour) which had me worried that he was going to run game on his brother's girl, which is never cool, but this is Freeform so you never know. I mean when Jillian told George she has a curse, George replied with 'it's your period?' Besides being a bit insensitive and 400 years behind the times... come on Freeform. Anyway, it all works out, the truth sets everybody free and even saves George's budding political career with George still getting on a knee to propose. Happily ever after! BUT NOT SO FAST!!! Which we will talk about in a bit.
So you might notice the one word missing from that description above is the word 'Christmas'. We need stop the WAR ON CHRISTMAS!!! Actually, it wasn't mentioned because Christmas isn't important in this Christmas movie for as we mentioned, Freeform tends to do things different. There was snow, there were Christmas songs though they were generic poppy type songs as opposed to generic classic Christmas songs, there were ornaments in the background and somebody might've had some cocoa, but I can't remember. Yes, there was a Santa but he was just Satan masquerading as Santa, which Jillian's bestie even made it a point to mention that possibility, and the one gift that was given was also demon possessed. So no snowball fights, Christmas caroling, or boy losing girl... in the regular way at least, or a near miss kiss because our boy and our girl were already having completely on target sex, or orphan kids or any of the stuff we've come to expect from these movies. Note that none of this makes this a bad movie, and despite the fact it is ridiculously derivative of a bunch of other movies, Kali Hawk by herself did make this movie kind of watchable.
But here's where they messed up. Here's where we have to give this movie The Business. At the end of the day, no matter what the Christmas movie unless it's Rudolph or something, and I think even Rudolph got the girl, these movies are about our heroine getting a man. At Christmas. It's more important than Jesus, Family, Career, Oxygen and Life! Get That Man! True enough our heroine in this movie already has a man, and her sudden bout of truth telling only made him fall more deeply in love with her. But then, with everything she ever wanted within her grasps, she rejects this man because... sigh... she needs to discover who she is. Find herself. Apparently this is what telling the truth has done to this poor delusional girl. Freeform! While I get you do things a little different in your corner of Christmas, THIS ONE THING MUST NOT CHANGE!!! There are little girls out there that are going to be watching this stuff! Do we want our little girls thinking they should be self-sufficient and relying on themselves? Pursuing their own dreams? Or do we want them to GET A MAN! I don't think I even need to answer that, now do I? Just ask Candace Cameron Bure, who happens to be a legitimate woman, which way this needs to go.. Freeform. Jeez.
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