Bruce Wayne's Head



I collect action figures... because of course I do.  I'm an old nerd and old nerds don't die.  I mean eventually they do but not in spirit!  But we are here today to recount an Action Figure experience which I'm sure a majority of the people on the planet will find absolutely riveting.

So I'm at Ollie's discount store, because I'm poor, and run across this action figure here.


It's kind of a weird figure because Flash is wearing biker shorts and yellow high tops.  Not to mention he's wearing Zoom colors.  This has something to do with a Frank Miller comic that I'm unfamiliar with, but then my boy William accuses me of being a Marvel so I guess that's no surprise. I buy it because it's cheap and I have only one Flash figure, plus it has an Atom mini figure in it and the head of some angry old white dude.

Now it's head of the angry old white dude that has me vexed because I honestly don't know who that is supposed to be and the box is no help.  I thought maybe it fit on the head of the Flash but Flash's head doesn't come off.  I mean I got it off, but it wasn't supposed to come off.  Gorilla glue to the rescue.  I was also thinking that maybe it was Erik Maximoff, better known as Magneto, but it is unlikely a Marvel head would be in a DC box.  `Fortunately the all-knowing internet informed us that this is the head of old Bruce Wayne.


Old angry white dude comparison.  See?

But now I'm excited because I got me a Frank Miller Dark Knight Returns version of Bruce Wayne and all I need is a Batman body to put this head on, of which I got a few.  First try...


FAIL... Epically.  This Batman is some rando figure I got off of some rando Chinese site so I didn't mind taking his head, but as you can see Bruce's head is way too big... a recurring issue I would learn.  Next try...


FAIL!  This Batman is from the same damn company that made this gargantuan Bruce Wayne head, this Batman being the DC Multiverse Suicide Squad Batman.  This just looks so wrong in addition to being too big.  So fine, I just figure I got a random Bruce Wayne head and nothing to put it on because the head is simply too big.  Ah... but then we got a hold of the DC Build a Figure Steppenwolf.  This cat is much bigger than all of the other regular size figures, as he should be.


But while looking at this dude I'm like... "huh... he has a big body and a big head, let's see how Bruce looks on Step's body.  Viola!


And there you go.  Not only does his giant head fit just right on Steppenwolf's body, Step's neck gives the illusion of Bruce wearing an ascot!  Because he's rich and stuff and something rich people do.  I will be displaying StepBruce on the Wall of Heroes moving forward.  Have no idea what I'm going to do with a random Steppenwolf head though.  


Even found a use for the Atom.  Thanks Steppenwolf!

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