The Case for the Best Batman
So I'm watching my show Mr. Inbetween, which everybody should watch because the show is crazy awesome, and Ray and his boy were having a discussion about the best Bonds. Of course they settled on Connery with a lot of banter about those who fell below. Then Ray asked who was the best Batman to which they both said, in unison, 'Keaton'. Well not so fast my Australian friends! I do believe that is a topic worthy of some discussion.
Iain Glen (Titans) - Mr. Glen, my man who played the arch villain in those Resident Evil movies, though others seem to know him by some TV show on HBO he was on, has the misfortune of being on the bottom of this list, though it's really not his fault. I mean it's kind of his fault because he accepted the role, but it's really not his fault. Plus he never gets to be Batman, only Bruce Wayne, at least so far. Glen's Bruce Wayne credentials are admirable. He seems smart, he reeks of someone who comes from money and he does come off as a semi aloof asshole, but that's kind of where the good stuff ends. The truth of the matter is that Iain Glen is too old, even for a Dark Knight Returns version of Batman, he's too frail and he's too Scottish. Iain Glen trying to do American isn't Iain Glen at his best. I can see him as Thomas Wayne though, getting laid out in front of whatever is showing on the marquis at the theater that night. Personally, if someone were to ask me... which they did not... I would've gone with this cat as my older TV Batman.
No, Victor Webster isn't the actor that Iain Glen is, but since my first choice, Ray Donovan, probably wouldn't have taken the job Victor would've filled the role of older TV Bruce Wayne quite well I think. He's tall, built, looks good in a suit and he's the right age, especially in comparison to Brenton Thwaite's Nightwing, he has some superhero cred with Mutant X and I'm pretty sure he was available. But that's if someone were to ask me. Which they did not.
George Clooney (Batman and Robin) - Look, being in a bad Batman movie doesn't necessarily mean that you have a bad Batman, as we will discuss further down, but George Clooney via 1997 was a fairly terrible Batman. Mr. Clooney could charm the habits off of a convent full of nuns. He has a wink and this ever present sly smile that lets you know that is a man for the ladies who is quick with a quip, comfortable in a room full of people, and seems most comfortable with a drink in his hand. Basically what I've described there is Roger Moore's version of James Bond, not Batman or Bruce Wayne. George was just out of place for this role in 1997. Bruce Wayne is emotionally tortured, George Clooney is still smiling. Dr. Freeze is physically torturing Batman, not only is Batman still smiling but he's cracking jokes. Back then, Fun loving playboy, Mr. Clooney can do. Pretend playboy who saw his parents murdered right before his eyes and will never find peace... not so much. And it didn't help that the movie was just gawdawful. My main man William, self proclaimed DC and biggest Batman fan ever, to this day wishes nothing but bad things for director Joel Schumacher based on this movie alone. He has taken it personal.
Now the reason I made it point to clarify that George Clooney 'back then' might not have been a good Batman, twenty years later I'm of the opinion that George Clooney would've been a fine Bruce Wayne / Batman. If you saw Mr. Clooney in The American, that was one tortured dude, and THAT guy could've pulled off damaged Bruce Wayne with ease. Sadly in 1997 we didn't get that guy.
Adam West - (Batman 66) - When I was a kid my favorite Matchbox was the Batman '66 Batmobile. I had a stuffed Batman plush toy. I had all this Batman '66 paraphernalia even though the show was cancelled before I was even born, or thereabouts. I love Batman '66 to the point I didn't even want to put Adam West on this list, but leaving him off would be far more disrespectful for he started it all. I know there were some old, black and white Batman serials back in the George Reeves Superman days, but for all intents and purposes, as far as Batman in motion goes, Adam West started it all. But alas, items in his BatBelt such as Bat shark repellent, Bat Female repellent and a Bat Alphabet Soup decoder, coupled with really bright colors along with POW! and BLAMMO! screen splashes kinds of ruins the image of a Dark Knight. Even though the infamous Shark Repellent is actually a thing in the old school comics. And then there is this...
While those are some smooth dance moves, that's not a great look right there Batman. All that being said, we still love us some Batman '66 and thanks DC Universe for those fresh new Batman '66 animations you made. Rest in eternal peace Adam West.
Val Kilmer (Batman Forever) - Don't nobody love Valley Kilmers more than me. Real Genius, Top Secret, Top Gun, Tombstone, Heat? I mean seriously, I was literally raised on Val Kilmer movies. When they dropped that Top Gun 2 teaser with neither an Iceman sighting nor the Danger Zone theme, it was as if Tom Cruise was actively campaigning for me NOT to see this movie. I don't care if he has throat cancer... WE NEED ICEMAN! This brings us to the curious case of Val Kilmer as Batman / Bruce Wayne in Joel Shchumacher's first shot at Batman in 'Batman Forever'. Val, in my opinion, wasn't a bad Batman at all, it was just the notorious prickly and obsessive actor was trapped in a totally buffoonish film. It would seem that Mr. Kilmer saw Michael Keaton's take on Batman and figured that's the path he'd take to his Batman... serious, brooding, moody... while Director Schumacher appeared to take his inspiration from Batman '66 and created a bright and colorful Gotham City with two completely over the top villains in Tommy Lee Jones with his interpretation of Harvey Dent and Jim Carrey's Riddler. Those two literally seemed to be trying to out buffoon each other. Nicole Kidman also got the buffoon memo with all of her cooing and purring and seducing. She was basically Catwoman without the whip.
So you have this serious actor trying to be a serious character in a ridiculous movie, then you have the other Val Kilmer issue... dude is just to blonde and too pretty. Not handsome... pretty. That picture up that featuring Batman in front of the colorful background? Kind of looks like 15 year old girl is wearing that mask and those six inch bat ears looked like a weapon unto themselves. Not that Val was any less pretty when he was Bruce Wayne. Just not sure how well pretty works for Bruce Wayne, even though Val Kilmer was a good enough actor that he did manage to pull it off, sort of, but it didn't help the movie he was in be any less of a confusing, inconsistent, albeit very colorful mess.
Christian Bale (The Dark Knight) - We have no problem toeing the popular line and proclaiming The Dark Knight as the best Batman movie ever made, obviously in no small part to Christian Bale's fine performance as Batman even though that movie clearly belonged to Heath Ledger's tour de force as The Joker. I'm of the mind that Bale was at his Batman / Bruce Wayne best in Batman Begins as Bruce Wayne taking that long road into becoming who he is to become. In that movie Christian Bale he had the right balance of youth, petulance, hubris and ultimately humility that lent itself well to being one really great origin story.
Now in the following two movies where we needed a more mature, albeit a still debilitatingly paranoid Bruce Wayne, Christian didn't sell me on that as well as he sold me on his youthful Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins. Don't get me wrong, he was still very good, as Christian Bale is a very good actor with the hardware to prove it, for those who care about those things, and when he put on the suit Batman was still kick-ass, but his turn as Bruce Wayne left me somewhat wanting. The characters are two sides of the same coin. Can't have one without the other. And while I think Christian Bale was great, I just think the two guys I have above him just happen to be better.
Micheal Keaton (Batman) - Man, you should've been there. It was '87.. '88.... I can't remember, whenever WB announced that Michael Keaton was gonna be The Batman in Tim Burton's new Batman movie. Batman fan... went... nuts. He's too small, he's a comic, it's gonna be campy, it's gonna be stupid... with fears of Batman '66 dancing in their poor heads. I told my irate Batman friends back then to calm it down, because have you seen Micheal Keaton? Yes, he's small, no doubt. And yes, he has comic ability, but it's angry, hostile and edgy comedy. Even in Mr. Mom he was edgy. I think he'll be alright.
From the first time I remember seeing Keaton as a kid in the early 80's in the movie Night Shift, I've loved this angry little dude, and I loved him as Batman and Bruce Wayne. In a tuxedo as Bruce Wayne, handsome, charming, clearly can handle himself in a social situation and I got no problem believing that this is a guy that Kim Bassinger would go for. In the Batcave as Bruce Wayne, wearing that oppressive turtleneck, focused, calculating, clever, conflicted and troubled. By the time he put on the suit, any doubts anybody had about this guy were erased. 'I'm Batman' is in the lexicon as one of the all-time great movie lines, and always will be. The great Michael Keaton... the best Batman / Bruce Wayne ever... until this guy came along.
Ben Affleck (Batman vs. Superman) - Man, you should've been there. It was 2013... 2014... whenever WB announced that Ben Affleck was going to be Batman in their new Superman movie. I howled with laughter, because this gave me the opportunity to call my man William, the aforementioned worlds biggest Batman fan, and have a little fun by letting him know that WB / DC had just named this guy as their new Batman. Did they NOT see Daredevil? William thought I was joking, yanking his chain. He called me 'A Marvel' and said I'm just upset that the Dark Knight is greatest movie ever made. I assured him that I am not joking, and if you thought Bat Nipples and Bat Buns were bad, here you go, and I will be in the front row of whatever this movie will be called and I will be mocking you.
Guess who's not laughing anymore? That would be me. For full disclosure I thought Batman vs. Superman was a pretty terrible movie. Dark, gloomy, humorless, erratic, overly long, amazingly over plotted and under plotted at the same time and created by a director who either hates Superman or simply doesn't understand Superman. But Ben Affleck as Batman? It's not even close. It's barely even up for discussion. Usually in these things I like to be conciliatory and non-committal, saying things like 'in my opinion...' or 'I'm of the mind...'... nah bruh... Ben Affleck is the best Batman to ever grace the big screen.
Where to start? First let's just go with the eye test. Physically... yeah, if I was standing next to this Bruce Wayne, I'd have to look at him sideways because that's a big dude and I might think that there's a chance this guy could actually be masquerading as The Batman. And he only gets more oppressive when he puts on the suit. No camera tricks needed to make this guy look big. Then there's Affleck's actual character of Bruce Wayne, because he's already Bruce Wayne. An isolated rich dude constantly battling with psychological demons that he seems to never come close to resolving? Yep, they are pretty much the same guy.
Finally, there's The Batman, and this Batman is Bad... Ass. Yes, this version of Batman was a bit of a murderous psychopath, but this is an older Batman, a Batman who has seen too much, closer to the Dark Knight Returns version of Batman who didn't mind cracking a few eggs to make a decent omelet. Batman dropping down from the ceiling... or rising up from the floor... in that warehouse scene where he had to rescue one of the Martha's is the single best Batman sequence of badassery ever shot. While I can't watch the entire movie over and over again, I can easily watch that scene over and over again. Zack Snyder might not know how to tell a story, but this he can do about as well as anybody.
Oh, such joy I felt upon hearing that Affleck would direct and star in a standalone Batman movie. Such disappointment I felt upon hearing that he dropped out of the project completely. Oh well, the universe hates me. It's not like the writing wasn't on the wall.
It's gonna be all right Ben... Because you are number one in my book.
No, Victor Webster isn't the actor that Iain Glen is, but since my first choice, Ray Donovan, probably wouldn't have taken the job Victor would've filled the role of older TV Bruce Wayne quite well I think. He's tall, built, looks good in a suit and he's the right age, especially in comparison to Brenton Thwaite's Nightwing, he has some superhero cred with Mutant X and I'm pretty sure he was available. But that's if someone were to ask me. Which they did not.
Now the reason I made it point to clarify that George Clooney 'back then' might not have been a good Batman, twenty years later I'm of the opinion that George Clooney would've been a fine Bruce Wayne / Batman. If you saw Mr. Clooney in The American, that was one tortured dude, and THAT guy could've pulled off damaged Bruce Wayne with ease. Sadly in 1997 we didn't get that guy.
While those are some smooth dance moves, that's not a great look right there Batman. All that being said, we still love us some Batman '66 and thanks DC Universe for those fresh new Batman '66 animations you made. Rest in eternal peace Adam West.
So you have this serious actor trying to be a serious character in a ridiculous movie, then you have the other Val Kilmer issue... dude is just to blonde and too pretty. Not handsome... pretty. That picture up that featuring Batman in front of the colorful background? Kind of looks like 15 year old girl is wearing that mask and those six inch bat ears looked like a weapon unto themselves. Not that Val was any less pretty when he was Bruce Wayne. Just not sure how well pretty works for Bruce Wayne, even though Val Kilmer was a good enough actor that he did manage to pull it off, sort of, but it didn't help the movie he was in be any less of a confusing, inconsistent, albeit very colorful mess.
Now in the following two movies where we needed a more mature, albeit a still debilitatingly paranoid Bruce Wayne, Christian didn't sell me on that as well as he sold me on his youthful Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins. Don't get me wrong, he was still very good, as Christian Bale is a very good actor with the hardware to prove it, for those who care about those things, and when he put on the suit Batman was still kick-ass, but his turn as Bruce Wayne left me somewhat wanting. The characters are two sides of the same coin. Can't have one without the other. And while I think Christian Bale was great, I just think the two guys I have above him just happen to be better.
From the first time I remember seeing Keaton as a kid in the early 80's in the movie Night Shift, I've loved this angry little dude, and I loved him as Batman and Bruce Wayne. In a tuxedo as Bruce Wayne, handsome, charming, clearly can handle himself in a social situation and I got no problem believing that this is a guy that Kim Bassinger would go for. In the Batcave as Bruce Wayne, wearing that oppressive turtleneck, focused, calculating, clever, conflicted and troubled. By the time he put on the suit, any doubts anybody had about this guy were erased. 'I'm Batman' is in the lexicon as one of the all-time great movie lines, and always will be. The great Michael Keaton... the best Batman / Bruce Wayne ever... until this guy came along.
Guess who's not laughing anymore? That would be me. For full disclosure I thought Batman vs. Superman was a pretty terrible movie. Dark, gloomy, humorless, erratic, overly long, amazingly over plotted and under plotted at the same time and created by a director who either hates Superman or simply doesn't understand Superman. But Ben Affleck as Batman? It's not even close. It's barely even up for discussion. Usually in these things I like to be conciliatory and non-committal, saying things like 'in my opinion...' or 'I'm of the mind...'... nah bruh... Ben Affleck is the best Batman to ever grace the big screen.
Where to start? First let's just go with the eye test. Physically... yeah, if I was standing next to this Bruce Wayne, I'd have to look at him sideways because that's a big dude and I might think that there's a chance this guy could actually be masquerading as The Batman. And he only gets more oppressive when he puts on the suit. No camera tricks needed to make this guy look big. Then there's Affleck's actual character of Bruce Wayne, because he's already Bruce Wayne. An isolated rich dude constantly battling with psychological demons that he seems to never come close to resolving? Yep, they are pretty much the same guy.
Finally, there's The Batman, and this Batman is Bad... Ass. Yes, this version of Batman was a bit of a murderous psychopath, but this is an older Batman, a Batman who has seen too much, closer to the Dark Knight Returns version of Batman who didn't mind cracking a few eggs to make a decent omelet. Batman dropping down from the ceiling... or rising up from the floor... in that warehouse scene where he had to rescue one of the Martha's is the single best Batman sequence of badassery ever shot. While I can't watch the entire movie over and over again, I can easily watch that scene over and over again. Zack Snyder might not know how to tell a story, but this he can do about as well as anybody.
Oh, such joy I felt upon hearing that Affleck would direct and star in a standalone Batman movie. Such disappointment I felt upon hearing that he dropped out of the project completely. Oh well, the universe hates me. It's not like the writing wasn't on the wall.
It's gonna be all right Ben... Because you are number one in my book.
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