Film Critics United

A Christmas Carousel (2020) - Hallmark Reviewed by Lisa Sue This definitely falls into the Royal Christmas Movie theme- the prince being Whitaker (what kind of royal name is that?) who wants to restore the Ancadia Christmas Carousel. So he calls the best in the business carousel restorer Roy and his daughter Lila (Rachel Boston), after all it was Roy’s grandfather who actually made the Ancadia Christmas carousel. So off to the winter wonderland of Ancadia with its snow capped mountains and lush forests go Roy and Lila. Initial evaluation is there is lots of wear and tear on the carousel machinery and general neglect that leaves a lot of horses needing fresh paint but they think it is doable to have the carousel up and running for the Christmas Eve Gala in two weeks. If a functioning carousel is scary, what about a dilapidated one? Or are all carousels in some form of dilapidation no matter the age?   The set up goes like this- Whit is known as a playboy prince, who doesn’t like t...

You Light Up My Christmas (2019) - Lifetime A wise woman once told me as a child, 'you take the good, you take the bad, you add them up and there you have the facts of life MF'.  It was the old lady who ran the sweat shop that made shoes for Nike I worked at when I was a kid.  Imagine my surprise when a couple years later these same lines would be the theme song of a sitcom, minus the 'MF' part, but still with the same theme of an old lady working children in a sweat shop making shoes.  Or something.  It was an awful long time ago and I don't remember much about that sitcom other than it was called 'The Facts of Life' and starred and old lady four girls.  Charlotte Rae is no longer with us, may she rest in eternal peace, but those kids who worked in that sweat shop are, and they have reunited to be in this Hallmarky Romantic Holiday movie.  Sort of reunited.  More or less. Less. Emma (Kim Fields) is big city real estate maven making moves and knocking ...

Swept Up by Christmas (2020) - Hallmark Reviewed by Lisa Sue This movie was brought to my attention by no less than NPR. With such promise as “You know what doesn't get enough attention as a romantic activity? Cleaning!”   this was a Hallmark Christmas movie that   just demanded I watch. And while cleaning was involved in the movie, rest assured it didn’t deter from the holiday drinks, s’mores eating, or tree trimming. Our intrepid heroine Gwen (Lindy Booth) is an appraiser who lands this big auction house gig. With the Hawthorne house commission combined with earnings from the annual Holiday Auction, Gwen hopes to be able to buy the Legacy Auction Company after her boss Graham retires. Of course the big Hawthorne account does come with some hurdles, like going through the entire house, appraising and posting all auction items online in two weeks. Gwen is so eager for the job, she even accidentally agrees to decorate the house for Christmas as apparently this will help the h...

A Christmas Exchange (2020) - Lifetime Watching these Hallmarky Romantic Holiday movies has got to be the most Sisyphusian exercise ever.  What do I hope to find in this one that was missing in the last one?  What nugget of wisdom do I expect to uncover in this movie that was not in the last 200 I've seen?  Why am I even doing this!  Sigh... Forgive me my friends.  That was my evil doppelganger who often gets on my computer to wreak havoc, and what he just said was completely uncalled for.  You deserve a better steward, a more stalwart keeper of the flame which I will continue be, he just felt that he had to get that off my chest.  We are all better now.   Molly (Laura Vandervoort) is hitting a bit of a rough patch.  Her small town Vancouver... sorry... 'Connecticut' newspaper, for which she is the editor, has just shut down and her granny has died.  Her parents have been dead for a while, though we're not sure how.  Murdered I...

A Christmas for Mary (2020) - OWN Lena (Morgan Dixon) is the hard working fifteen year old assistant to Vivian (Vivica A. Fox), who is the publisher of this realities version of Essence magazine.  Okay, so Lena is probably older than fifteen since she drives and stuff and seems to have a full time job, it's just that the kid, cute as she is, doesn't look much older than fifteen.  It's Christmas Time and thus time for the magazine's big Christmas story, which assistant Lena would love a shot at writing.  Vivian is reticent to turn this huge assignment over to a child, but the kid has gumption so she's getting her shot. But what to write about?  While putzing around in the attic of her mother Deborah (Jackee Harry) looking for Black Santa, she finds a portrait painting of a woman standing by a Christmas Tree painted by her late grandfather, with that woman NOT being her late grandmother.  She also finds other information pertaining to this mysterious woman in the ...

Last Christmas (2019) Reviewed by Lisa Sue I can hear the pitch now- from the director of Bridemaids..starring Daenerys Targaryen & the guy from Crazy Rich Asians! They bring you a traditional rom com - girl is a hot mess where he meets mystery man who makes her want to be a better person and stop feeling bad about herself. SPOILER There will be a major plot twist and in the background nothing but George Michael songs from beginning to end. If you want to really do a drinking game, take a shot every time a George Michael (including Wham!) song is played and 2 shots when Last Christmas comes on. Honestly within the first 7 minutes I heard 2 versions of Last Christmas, clearly these people aren’t messing around.   Turns out George Michael really captures the highs and lows of the holiday season,as his music speaks to many of us (shout out to Eli Stone, it was ahead of its time.) With George Michael’s music and a script from the glorious pen of Emma Thompson, we expect we’ll enj...