A Christmas Exchange
Watching these Hallmarky Romantic Holiday movies has got to be the most Sisyphusian exercise ever. What do I hope to find in this one that was missing in the last one? What nugget of wisdom do I expect to uncover in this movie that was not in the last 200 I've seen? Why am I even doing this! Sigh... Forgive me my friends. That was my evil doppelganger who often gets on my computer to wreak havoc, and what he just said was completely uncalled for. You deserve a better steward, a more stalwart keeper of the flame which I will continue be, he just felt that he had to get that off my chest. We are all better now.
Molly (Laura Vandervoort) is hitting a bit of a rough patch. Her small town Vancouver... sorry... 'Connecticut' newspaper, for which she is the editor, has just shut down and her granny has died. Her parents have been dead for a while, though we're not sure how. Murdered I think. Molly needs a change and Andy (Yanick Truesdale) her gay Black bestie - knocked it out the park with that one Lifetime - has suggested she follow her dreams. These dreams being going to London, look for a job at a prestigious publishing firm, investigate the life of her London born dead father, and maybe meet a dashing British gentleman like the ones in her favorite Royal Christmas Movie and Romance novels.
Across the Atlantic in Vancouver... sorry... London England, Patrick (Rainbow Sun Francks) is a hardworking financial something who has just had enough. His hot girlfriend with the sexy gap in her teeth Angela (Nadine Bhabha) has just dumped him for working all the time and not paying her enough attention. She specifically said 'call me when you have the time for me'. He then quits his job right then and there, and now has the time, but he doesn't call Angela. I'd have called Angela right away. On the urging of his hot assistant Kate (Katherine Davis), he spins the globe to plot out where he should vacay and damn if it doesn't land in 'Connecticut'. Molly in Connecticut is putting her house up for exchange, Patrick puts his dope London loft up for exchange, so they make the deal with Molly off to London and Patrick off to Connecticut.
So while they still are on opposite sides of the world, through texting, emails and the occasional phone call, Molly and Patrick communicate with each other to make their transitions easier, and also open their hearts to one another. Molly, while in London, has learned a few harsh truths. Dashing British gentlemen do not grow on trees. He parents fairytale meet cute was a damn lie. Her favorite romance novelist, repped by the big firm she wants to work for, is a cynical shrew who doesn't believe in romance. But she always has Patrick to lean back on.
Patrick himself has also learned some harsh truths. He's in Connecticut to write a novel and has learned he can't write. And other stuff. Maybe. He's the dude in a Hallmarky romance movie so his story is not very important. Still, he always has Molly to lean back on for emotional support.
Patrick has to be back in London for a bit to attend his hot assistants wedding, which is really easy when you just have to walk across the street to get from Connecticut to London, who urges him to visit Molly at his house to tell her how he feels. Problem is Molly was at the end of a very bad day and didn't look happy to see him when he knocked on his own door. Note that Molly has no idea what Patrick looks like. So Patrick, for some unknown reason, pretends to be somebody other than who he is. I can't tell you why he did it, but this was his play. So Patrick not being Patrick and Molly go out, have fun, do fun stuff and fall in love. Eventually Patrick has to tell Molly that he's Patrick, and Molly takes this news like Patrick just told her he shot Kennedy, and love is lost. Until Molly realizes, with the help of everybody else in this movie, that her true love isn't a bad person, just a stupid one, and true love is back again in 'Connecticut'... at Christmas.
Admittedly, I wasn't to thrilled with this one as it started out, considering A Christmas Exchange was boring me greatly, even forcing me to question my existence for even starting the movie, as the whole 'You've Got Mail' angle is now beat into the ground. My only real entertainment was coming from the bad green screening of Laura Vandervoort in front of London Landmarks, The Union Jack being placed in odd place to further sell us that this is NOT actually London, and some strange sharpie graffiti that had 'British' scribbled on walls because this is what they do in London? But then Patrick did this unfathomably stupid thing he did, and now I'm all in. I don't think I've seen anything this inane in any movie ever. Sure, people have pretended to be somebody they're not many times, but usually in witness relocation, or to hide out from murder or abusive husbands, not because somebody answered the door with a frown on their face. This wasn't just stupid, but deliciously stupid and completely transforms the landscape of what was turning out to be a boring movie.
The Christmassy elements were a little on the low side however. We did have snow and lots of Christmas ornamentation, and we did enjoy the Christmas cookie decoration contest. Everybody should have that. But we were missing snowball fights, snowman making, and I don't remember seeing any caroling or coco drinking, but at least Molly was an orphan kid and I think her Gay Bestie's husband was providing all the old people wisdom, even though he wasn't that old. And once they finally get together Laura Vandervoot's excitable miserableness and Rainbow Sun Francks charming goofiness, mated to what I believe is one of many fake British accents in this movie, made for a more than acceptable Holiday Romance couple.
A Christmas Exchange is dumb. But it is this dumbness that actually saves the movie... if one were to ask me.
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