Coins for Christmas
Coins for Christmas (2018) - TV ONE
New plan! For the past couple of years, starting at sometime in November, I make the resolution to watch a Hallmark-ish Christmas movie a day, every day, and talk about said movie in this here blog thingie. For the past couple of years I have failed at this. As it turns out I simply do not have the mental, physical, emotional or psychological fortitude to watch one of these things every day, and with Hallmark announcing forty... FORTY new Christmas movies for 2019, Lifetime broadcasting a record 28, not to mention the ones that TVOne, Netflix, ION and BET will be belching out, I'm guessing there's gonna be over a hundred in 2019. Nobody could seriously watch all of those, could they? So now I've decided to watch one a week throughout the year. There's no reason why I'm even doing this, just time on my hands I guess. Anyway, here we go.
Welcome to 'Coins for Christmas', or what I like to call 'A Good Times Christmas Movie'. Playing the dual role of Florida and Thelma Evans... post the Death of James... is Madison (Essence Atkins), who like Florida works hard tirelessly and can't catch a break, and like Thelma she is fine. Not quite Thelma fine, but then nobody on the earth is Thelma Evans fine... except maybe Little Penny when she grows up and does the Pleasure Principle video, but that's an open debate. So it's almost Christmas and hardworking divorced mom Madison has just lost her job, is in arrears to the IRS, has a busted ride and wears a winter coat that a homeless dude would think twice about wearing. Madison has two lovely teen aged kids who both embody the essence of Michael Evans... no J.J. in this Good Times movie thank goodness... in Chloe (Tyla Harris) and Jackie (Caleb Thomas). Both of these kids are polite, well behaved, smart and also hard working. They understand Mom is having a hard time and are more than willing to put their Christmas wishes aside to help out. Aww.... Chloe even gets a job, against her mother's wishes. I mean Chloe is like eighteen and should be working anyway, and as long as she's not whoring I don't why her mom is so upset about her getting a job.
Across town there's Alec (Stephen Bishop) who is sort of a mix between Thelma's African Prince and her physically damaged football playing fiancee. Yes, somebody watched a lot of 'Good Times' back in the day. Not apologizing for that. Alec, who is an ex-football player of some sort, either wants to latch on to another team or get on as a commentator with a network, but alas he's a jerk so no team or network wants him. We know in reality this is not true as you can be a jerk, cheat on your wife, beat your girlfriend, throttle your children and even be tried for attempted murder... if you can still play, the NFL will still have you... as long as you don't do something REALLY crazy. Like kneel before the national anthem. Never see the field again baby. GO LIONS!!! This dude says the Lions are the most miserable NFL franchise ever. Screw that dude with a rusty garden hoe. Even though he's right.
Anyway, Alec is running out of cash and needs an assistant. Madison has no cash and needs a job. Thanks to the gig economy these two souls will be bought together, and though there is some animosity between these two beautiful people to start, no worries because Love is In the... wait, just got a memo... Not quite sure how to process this but love is NOT in the air! Apparently the creators of this film decided to make the relationship between these two attractive people one based on mutual respect, understanding and making each other better people, while keeping everything completely platonic. That's some BS! Do these people even WATCH these movies? This movie ended NOT with our hero and heroine standing under mistletoe amidst falling snow in a passionate embrace, but with Madison spending Christmas with her family while coming to terms with her shiftless ex-husband, and Alec lying in bed alone wishing her Merry Christmas over the phone and hoping she has a good life! I can't even...
'Coins for Christmas' is a bit of a different kind of TV holiday movie because while most of these films do use Christmas as a backdrop, ultimately these movies are about our heroine getting a man. Be she a titan of industry, world famous author, renown actress or downtrodden single man, she will end said movie with a man, or if she had one to start said movie, she will end up with a better man. I accept this, so when this doesn't doesn't happen I'm not sure how to handle this. I knew something was up when about the 1 hour mark of this 80 minute movie our two leads hadn't even started to like each other yet, let alone spend any romantic time together.
The movie itself is okay I guess, other than it has these sudden cuts which kind of messed up the narrative flow of the movie which has me thinking that there are chunks of this movie missing, probably due to time constraints. But the performances were solid, Essence Atkins and her abnormally large anime eyes is good in most everything she does, Stephen Bishop does asshole with an unsettling naturalness, and the two young actors were particularly good because lord knows we hate watching bratty kids in any kind of movie. Shout out to actress Candice Harris who played Madison's bestie Laney, or her Willona, who the camera probably should've spent way more time lingering on. She kept talking about her husband who's off fighting for our freedoms in some foreign land, and if this were a true Good Times Christmas, she would've gotten a telegraph announcing his untimely death, but they didn't go there. But she did drop a triple 'Damn' on us. Seriously, she really did.
As far as the vomit worthiness of this movie, or how it sticks to the Hallmark Formula for the uninitiated, there's not much of that here. It's cold, but there's no snow and as such there's no snow fights or snowman building. There's no Christmas tree shopping or tree decorating scene, no drinking hot cocoa, nor any Christmas caroling... Black folks do these things you know... but there was generic Christmas music playing throughout, we did get to attend a bougie Christmas party and the youngest son was racially profiled by a rent-a-cop at Christmas, so there was that. But most egregiously, the thing we are still trying to process, our heroine didn't get a man. I can't even...
Across town there's Alec (Stephen Bishop) who is sort of a mix between Thelma's African Prince and her physically damaged football playing fiancee. Yes, somebody watched a lot of 'Good Times' back in the day. Not apologizing for that. Alec, who is an ex-football player of some sort, either wants to latch on to another team or get on as a commentator with a network, but alas he's a jerk so no team or network wants him. We know in reality this is not true as you can be a jerk, cheat on your wife, beat your girlfriend, throttle your children and even be tried for attempted murder... if you can still play, the NFL will still have you... as long as you don't do something REALLY crazy. Like kneel before the national anthem. Never see the field again baby. GO LIONS!!! This dude says the Lions are the most miserable NFL franchise ever. Screw that dude with a rusty garden hoe. Even though he's right.
Anyway, Alec is running out of cash and needs an assistant. Madison has no cash and needs a job. Thanks to the gig economy these two souls will be bought together, and though there is some animosity between these two beautiful people to start, no worries because Love is In the... wait, just got a memo... Not quite sure how to process this but love is NOT in the air! Apparently the creators of this film decided to make the relationship between these two attractive people one based on mutual respect, understanding and making each other better people, while keeping everything completely platonic. That's some BS! Do these people even WATCH these movies? This movie ended NOT with our hero and heroine standing under mistletoe amidst falling snow in a passionate embrace, but with Madison spending Christmas with her family while coming to terms with her shiftless ex-husband, and Alec lying in bed alone wishing her Merry Christmas over the phone and hoping she has a good life! I can't even...
'Coins for Christmas' is a bit of a different kind of TV holiday movie because while most of these films do use Christmas as a backdrop, ultimately these movies are about our heroine getting a man. Be she a titan of industry, world famous author, renown actress or downtrodden single man, she will end said movie with a man, or if she had one to start said movie, she will end up with a better man. I accept this, so when this doesn't doesn't happen I'm not sure how to handle this. I knew something was up when about the 1 hour mark of this 80 minute movie our two leads hadn't even started to like each other yet, let alone spend any romantic time together.
The movie itself is okay I guess, other than it has these sudden cuts which kind of messed up the narrative flow of the movie which has me thinking that there are chunks of this movie missing, probably due to time constraints. But the performances were solid, Essence Atkins and her abnormally large anime eyes is good in most everything she does, Stephen Bishop does asshole with an unsettling naturalness, and the two young actors were particularly good because lord knows we hate watching bratty kids in any kind of movie. Shout out to actress Candice Harris who played Madison's bestie Laney, or her Willona, who the camera probably should've spent way more time lingering on. She kept talking about her husband who's off fighting for our freedoms in some foreign land, and if this were a true Good Times Christmas, she would've gotten a telegraph announcing his untimely death, but they didn't go there. But she did drop a triple 'Damn' on us. Seriously, she really did.
As far as the vomit worthiness of this movie, or how it sticks to the Hallmark Formula for the uninitiated, there's not much of that here. It's cold, but there's no snow and as such there's no snow fights or snowman building. There's no Christmas tree shopping or tree decorating scene, no drinking hot cocoa, nor any Christmas caroling... Black folks do these things you know... but there was generic Christmas music playing throughout, we did get to attend a bougie Christmas party and the youngest son was racially profiled by a rent-a-cop at Christmas, so there was that. But most egregiously, the thing we are still trying to process, our heroine didn't get a man. I can't even...
I am but a chicken
ReplyDeleteWhat more do you want from me?
I give you the eggs I lay for free
And yet its like I just can’t be.
I am a punchline, the constant butt of jokes like some spotted toad.
Seriously when have you seen me or my family cross the road?
Is there some thing we have done to offend, some violation of code?
Don’t get me started on my rubberized cousin, long necked like giraffe
Prop comics throw him out there, without preface and people just laugh
I mean we are vital parts of the farm, yet don’t get the same love as a calf
Why is that? What have we done to deserve such disdain and hate?
We are most meals, our bodies horrendously devoured on countless dining plates
You weren’t satisfied taking our babies, sunny side or scrambled ATE
At least with the eggs, we were furthering generations on the farm
Some of us may squawk at the break of dawn, as a pleasant natural alarm
And for that we are fried, grilled, sautéed, baked; Our wings getting 5 alarm harm
All we want Old MacDonald is for the recognition of what we provide
That our countless generations, abused and genetically modified hadn’t in vain died.
F*K you and ALL of your chicken sandwiches.