The Wrong Man
After the disappointment of The Wrong Crush, it looks like things have returned to normal with The Wrong Man. Please note that The Wrong Crush was a perfectly serviceable Lifetime thriller, it just felt too right to carry the 'Wrong' moniker is all. Well batshit insanity has returned in a big way with this one, and quite honestly, we are happy to see it.
Actor Jessica Morris, who at this point I must assume is Vivica Fox's muse, has returned to the Wrong series once again as Kim Cassidy, a freelance writer, i.e., unemployed writer, who often writes stuff for her best friend Jen (Ms. Fox) who mostly hates what she writes. Then Kim gets the sad news her grandma had died in a tragic slip and fall.
 |
| Grandma learned the hard way that they moved the swimming pool |
Or push and fall as we will find out, so it's back to wherever in California they lived to attend a funeral. Thing is Kim hasn't been back to visit her grandparents ever since her parents died in a tragic car crash. After Death by Psycho, Death by Car Crash is the 2nd leading cause of death in these wrong movies.
This is where Kimberly meets Joey (Rib Hillis), who we can only assume will be The Wrong Man.
 |
| Unknown to most, Joey is responsible for the majority of these tombstones. |
Joey is the caretaker of Kim's grandparents, along with this random hot chick (Gina Hiraizumi), but considering her granny fell over a bannister I'm of the opinion they weren't doing a great job of caretaking.
 |
| Grandpa likes. |
To make up for lost time and her neglect of her elderly grandparents, particularly her Alzheimer stricken grandfather, Kim is gonna stick around and help out, but before she leaves the funeral she runs into this dude.
 |
| He's telling that dumb joke again |
 |
| I know it's a funeral, but I heard a funny one the other day. |
This is Nick (Joel Berti) and he is the concerned neighbor who lives across the street from her grandparents, and he just wants to know has Joey been acting weird. Mind you she's know Joey for all of eight minutes so I don't think she can fashion a reasonable answer, but as you can see, Joey is acting pretty damn weird now, while watching Kim talk to the concerned neighbor.
So Kim makes it to her parents house, Joey gets her all situated as he stays in the guest house behind the main house, which again in my mind kind of makes it hard for him to be an effective caregiver, but what the hell do I know? That being said, the sparks between the two have already started to fly.
 |
| Joey has learned Cardiac Arrest is the quick way to a woman's heart. |
Joey starts the ball rolling by sneaking up and scaring the shit out Kim while she's jogging, which does continue a long standing Wrong tradition of watching women jog. But now it's on.
First we get the sexy, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof sexy balcony texting, which can only lead to one thing.
 |
| Long run... Wrong Man. At the moment, Right Man. |
We could mention that Gramps is right there sleeping while these two are getting it on, but he is half out of his mind so whatever. Now these two are becoming a legit couple, even going out to dinner and stuff... bad move Joey, because this is where they meet The Waiter.
 |
| Shawn? Shawn? Hey Shawn! Shawn? Shawn? |
You know that guy who knows you from your previous criminal life? Like your real name and stuff? Who you now have to pretend like you don't what the hell he's talking about? That guy. Joey doesn't like people who recognize him from his previous criminal past.
 |
| It's nap time! Permanently! |
Not sure this guy needed to be killed, since he really wasn't studding Joey after Joey claimed he must've made a mistake. Just minding his own damn business working his crap job, but now he's dead.
But now, because of the waiter and the misidentification, Kim is getting a little suspicious about Joey and calls her bestie to discuss this situation. Jen is concerned and asks Kim 'Did you sleep with him?'
To which Kim replied 'You KNOW I did!' Kim seemed almost insulted that Jen would even ask such a dumb question. Have you JUST met Kim, Jen? Regardless, Jen is on the case and she's going get the 411 on this Joey character. Then there's the concerned neighbor again.
 |
| Kim really needs to improve her jogging awareness |
Who also sneaks up and scares the shit out of Kim while's she attempting to jog, reiterating his concerns about Joey. Now Joey has to go pay Mr. Concerned Neighbor a visit, and that's where we learn the plan. It seems the neighbor, who can legitimately be called The Wrong Neighbor, and Joey have a little murder hustle going where neighbor dude gets Joey fake papers, Joey then moves into some old folks house as a care giver, gets them to sign over the deed to the house, and then murders them via carbon monoxide poisoning. That's their hustle. Neighbor dude is all concerned because this one is taking a little too long. According to Neighbor dude, this plot of land is sitting on a heap of cash, so much so they can leave the country and stop killing old people when this deal is closed. I do have some questions about this because if the land is sitting on something, say like oil or gold, won't they have to kill everybody who lives on the block to reap these benefits? Or maybe the entire neighborhood? Just curious. He also notice Joey getting a little too cozy with Kim, because of course he has the house wired for video so he's been getting his peeping tom on, and Joey looks to be genuinely caring for this old man. "What's the Plan" ask Mr. Neighbor, "For you and Kim to become a happy couple"? "What's so crazy about that?" asks Joey. "Well, you killed her grandmother for starters!" I have to admit, Mr. Neighbor makes a valid point. Joey doesn't like people who makes valid points.
 |
| Nap Time! Permanently! Again! |
So Joey murders the neighbor, which the police have somehow ruled as a suicide. I guess he gave himself a reverse choke hold? What the hell do I know? By now Kim has learned that Joey is not who he says he is and that he probably murdered her granny and she confronts Joey about her suspicions. This is where Joey hits Kim with the signed house papers. And the fact the he no longer has any real desire to wear a shirt anymore.
 |
| Yeah he killed my grandma... but damn. |
Jen has also learned the truth about Joey as well and is on her way to warn Kim. Joey doesn't like people who learn the truth.
 |
| Nap Time! Yet Again! But not really. |
 |
| Maybe she just needs more time to think about the offer. |
Kim should've finished Joey off as he lay unconscious at the bottom of the stairs, but she's in a rush to get her grandpa to safety.
 |
| WHY DID THEY CANCEL STUMPTOWN!!! |
But Joey, conscious again, is now heart broken that Kimberbee (grandparents stupid pet name) won't allow him to love her, and now he has to end both Kim and and gramps. But alas...
 |
| And a catch phrase is born. |
The one person he didn't kill has instead put an end to Joey. And as Joey flops to the ground lifeless, Jen says, and I quote... "I told you he was The Wrong Man!" And a movie that was already lined with gold nuggets, has just turned itself into solid gold.
The Wrong Man plays all the Wrong notes to perfection. The plan in this one isn't so much a cockamamie plan, but it is does seem very long and drawn out for what seems like very little reward. And how many times can a couple of criminals gas old people to death before the authorities start getting suspicious? Forever it would seem. We have a antagonist who is plenty crazy and in the true Wrong fashion figures the quickest way to true love is murdering people. Joey's body count was also pretty high in this one. We also love a protagonist who is not ashamed to sex up a psychopath, as long as he's hot. You really can't get more Wrong than this one.
Comments
Post a Comment