A Hollywood Christmas
So it looks like HBO/WB has thrown their hat in the Hallmarky Romantic Christmas Movie game, kind of, I guess? They tried to go meta with A Hollywood Christmas, to which, as a pretend highly paid consultant on these films, I would've advised them to either do it all the way or don't do it at all. Don't half ass it. For stuff like this, I can't watch Batgirl or Scoob Christmas. Thanks WB.
Jessica (Jessika Van) is a hard working, dedicated film director working on her latest Romantic Christmas movie epic when one of the four suited gentlemen sent to close down the bakery in her scene starts sneezing. He's allergic to dogs. Daniel her A.D. (Tom Williamson) suggest they just shoot the scene with three suits because the scene still works, which it totally would, but Jessica is pretty rigid when it comes to her filmmaking, which is one the plot points of this movie. Fortunately there's another suit at the snack table and Jessica sticks him in the scene.
As it turns out this suit is no actor but is Christopher the Financial Guy (Josh Swickard) who was sent down by the studio higher ups to let Jessica know that they are closing down the Christmas movie division, reducing the budget of her current movie and terminating her contract when this movie is done. As you can imagine this upsets Jessica mightily, but no worries because her intensely annoying assistant Reena (Anissa Borrego) joyfully tells Jessica that she has fallen into her own Romantic Christmas movie! Yay!
Jessica just continues to make her movie, solving problems and dealing with her flaky and vacuous leads. Christopher looks like he's a little sweet on Jessica and genuinely tries to offer suggestions to help cut corners to bring the movie in under budget, which she isn't receptive to, until she is. I mean she turns from hating this dudes guts to practically falling in love with him on a dime, based on a boxed lunch dinner and a three minute conversation. Now she's listening to his suggestions. Not his cost cutting suggestions, which would make sense from a finance guy, but his creative suggestions which makes absolutely no sense even in this nonsensical world. Besides, her annoying assistant informs her by changing her script she changes the formula which will mess everything up.
Guess what? Everything is messed up. The thing happens, which is the thing that tears our couple apart and truth be told it happens too early in this movie, but Jessica has gotten word from Christopher's boss, played in glorified cameo by Missy Pyle, that the budget is being cut to zero and this was all Christopher's idea. Now Jessica is broken-hearted and feels betrayed. Christopher tries to explain himself but Jessica is back to not hearing my man because she's super rigid. Worse still is that they don't have any money to shoot the big finale that needs all the townfolk extras, orchestra, and children. Far be it from me to tell an experienced director like Jessica how to do her job, but that's why you shoot the expensive stuff first on the probable likelihood that they will cut your budget.
Eventually Jessica loosens up her rigid stance, her annoying assistant has completely abandoned reality at this point and insists Jessica needs to face up to her damaged childhood so that the magical thing can happen and they can finish this movie, Jessica does this, Santa shows up (don't ask), mayhem and chaos ensues, Missy Pyle sings a Christmas song and Jessica and Christopher close the show by making out. In July. Not at Christmas.
My thought about this movie, as I was watching it, was that the minds behind this film, not being veterans of the genre, watched a few Hallmarky Christmas movies to get a feel about how they go and then set about making their own meta version while attempting to straddle the thin line between parody and respect. To the filmmakers credit, they kind of pulled it off, at least in the sense I felt they didn't disrespect or belittle the material, though I still don't think they have a firm grip on how these movies actually work. I don't know if it's a great thing that I've become a bit of an expert on the Hallmarky Romantic Holiday movie over the last six years, considering all of the other things the planet Earth offers that I could've taken up, but here we are.
No, the real problem with A Hollywood Christmas is that it simply spread itself too thin with superfluous nonsense. Focusing on Jessica and Christopher working to get the movie done while falling for each other in the process probably would've been the better route to take, and possibly juxtaposing this against the movie she is actually shooting might even work as well, but throwing in the side romance and shenanigans of the flighty leads of her movie, among other things, just got in the way. The assistant pointing out everything that's supposed to happen also annoyingly got in the way. I understand that not everybody watches these movies and that she was supposed to serve as some kind of guide, but these movies are not complex, I think the audience would've figured it out without assistance.
As I have said many times, these movies, even this one which flies against convention, pass or fail on the strength of the couple that we are forced to spend 90 or so minutes with. Jessika Van and Josh Swickard are great. They are charming, good looking, engaging, funny.... but this movie didn't spend nearly enough time with them to justify why they are making out at the end of this movie. Other than the fact that they are good looking and that's just something good looking people do at the end of movies.
Personally, I admit I've come a long way from when I first started watching these movies as a funny experiment, so many years ago, to now where I take them far too serious, but that's what happens when you get know somebody. A Hollywood Christmas had potential, but it did not deliver on it.
No vomits on this one, it's not that kind of Christmas movie.
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