Film Critics United

 The Wrong Cheerleader Coach Our film starts with a very well formed grown ass woman pretending to be a teenaged girl doing flips and stuff for her cheerleader coach, I guess, played by Tara Reid.  Just a word of warning, if you happen to be a fan of Tara Reid, and you are watching this movie because she's in this movie, then keep it moving.  I think I saw a reflection of the guy holding the boom microphone in this movie, and he was in the movie more than Tara Reid, despite her rather high billing.  You're kinda stuck watching Sharknado movies for your Tara Reid fix.  I'm sorry.  Anyway, this chick is hiding out watching Tara coach this grown ass woman. This was the only way she could get a look at Tara Reid in this movie. That there would be The Wrong Cheerleader Coach.  Why she's peeping at Tara Reid behind that gate will never be made clear.  Title Card time! Now we meet our victims in widowed architect Jon (Corin Nemec) and his high school sen...

The Wrong Stepfather Our film opens with some lady driving into her garage, complaining about some dude who I assume is our Wrong Stepfather.  Then the garage door opens up and we see him... A dude in a black hoodie.  If at any time the filmmakers behind these movies wanted to make the hoodie mauve or psychedelic, I wouldn't be mad at them.   In Brightest Day, and Blackest Night, Evil will Always be in my sight! - Black Hoodie Oath She yells at this guy, tells him 'You will never be my son's Stepfather!', which is kind of a strange thing to yell at somebody, then he stabs her I think.  TITLE CARD! Before we begin, we want you to get a look at the true star of this movie, that being Sydney Malakeh, playing the role of nightmare of a daughter Sarah, and her extra high gloss lips.  There was not a single scene in this movie where her lips weren't glossy and bright.  Those lips could literally guide Santa's sleigh.   Now our film can start, with ...