Thursday, December 15, 2016

30 Days of Horrible Christmas Movies... Day Eighteen

A Snow Globe Christmas (2013) - Lifetime

Looking back, we could've theoretically done 30 days of Alicia Witt Christmas movies, and the fact that it took eighteen days to finally get to one with her in it is proof positive that there are far too many of these things in existence, but here we are with A Snow Globe Christmas.

Meg (Alicia Witt) is a hard driven TV Christmas movie producer who slave drives everyone around her, doesn't stop to smell the roses... bla bla bla.  She also constantly and sensually massages a snowglobe  that she pretty much takes everywhere.  It's strange.

Showing up at her TV station is a magical Black Woman (Christina Milian) who KTFO's this poor woman to  magically transport her into the snowglobe she's always rubbing on.

Now Meg can see the life that could've been.  In Snowglobe World, she's married to her ex-college boyfriend Ted (Donald Faison), has two beautiful children... and we don't mean that flippantly because these two kids are really good looking... the living is simple and everybody in snowglobe world is happy.  Problem is that Meg knows full well that this isn't real and always lets her fake husband and imaginary kids know as much.  All the time.  Plus her real world boyfriend Eric (Trevor Donovan) is in Snowglobe world and Meg is putting the movies on him because she figures they are supposed be together.  This obviously upsets her fake husband and Trevor's fake wife.

Still, why not make the best of a bad situation.  Meg uses her production skills to help the Christmas play, starts to actually fall for the fake husband and the imaginary kids, until she destroys everything in Snowglobe Town, and is forced to set everything in Snowglobe Town right, all under the watchful eye of the magical Black Woman, to learn the true spirit of Christmas.  Or something.  Only to be KTFO'd again and transported back to her crap reality.  Not sure what the final message of this one was.

First things first, this film was produced for Lifetime by The Asylum, one of our favorite movie studios who have bought us classics like Mega Piranha and Mega Fault and Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.  That they have branched out into making horrible Christmas movies is awesome.  Regardless of all of that, what we have here is another version of 'The Family Man', showing the protag the life that could've been, which is basically 'It's a Wonderful Life' only in reverse.  Does this work?  Well, who am I to say one way or the other, besides the fact I'm writing an article about whether it works or not?  We will say that if you have Alicia Witt and Donald Faison in your movie, then this movie will have a lot of comic energy and these two lay it out there.  This is a little different but we did notice it in that we also enjoyed the musical score as it was less canned Christmas music, but more 40's or 50's styled string based music.

Also, we are little concerned about the conclusion as Meg somehow finds Ted in the real world and ends up living the life that could've been, as directed by her Magical Black Woman, who weirdly turns out to be Ted's dead mom... all up in people's biz... but what about poor Eric?  He seemed like a nice guy.  I mean he was a jerk in Snowglobe world, but that wasn't real.  We mourn for Eric.

The vomit worthiness of this was questionable.  Yes, well worn Christmas plot and Alicia Witt and cute kids, but the dialog was less than horrible, no wise old people, no canned Christmas music, and while the ending was predictable, how it got there was super wacky.  Only two vomits.




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