Tuesday, December 6, 2016

30 Days of Horrible Christmas movies... Day Nine

Naughty or Nice (2012) - Hallmark Channel

Two things.  First, I thought it was cute seeing 'Family Ties' legends Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross playing a couple in the last Christmas movie I saw, now... say like in this movie... not so much.  Second, the little pictures I use for these movies I get off of a Yahoo images search.  Works fine until you type in something like 'Naughty or Nice' which gives you all kinds not family friendly horrors.  Of course that could be avoided if I just turned on 'Safe Search', but why in the world would I do that?  Crazy talk.

Krissy Kringle (Hilarie Burton) lives on Candy Cane Lane.  Note that Krissy is not related Kris Kringle, just happens to be her name, and they changed the name of her street after she moved there.  Also, it appears actress Hilarie Burton is a natural brunette but I've learned your odds of landing the lead in one of these Christmas movies increases exponentially if one has blonde hair.

Anyway, Krissy is having a rough patch.  She's lost her job, her boyfriend of six years won't propose and... well... that's about it to be honest.  Other than people making fun of her name all the time, Krissy looks to be in an okay spot to me.  One of the downsides of being Krissy Kringle on Candy Cane Lane is that you get tons of Santa mail which also upsets Krissy, until she gets The Book in the mail.  The actual Naughty or Nice list.  Just call out somebody's name, the book opens to their page and reveals all the bad things they've done, and now Krissy can exact revenge on all of the people who have done her wrong.

But sadly, soon Krissy learns that there are two sides to every horrible thing that people do.  I guess.  And where Krissy was using the info to completely destroy lives, at least from where I was sitting, now she's using the book to make things right.  I guess.  Which will somehow get Krissy her old job back and make her boyfriend finally propose.

This one started out pretty good as it had some genuine humor in it that actually made me laugh, helped along by Hilarie Burton being a pretty good comic actress.  But then it had to go and get all Christmassy on us.  I get it, that's the point of the entire exercise, but still, we don't have to like it.  And the deeper this movie descended into false sentimentality and contrived nonsense leading to a series of forced happy endings,  the further it went away from Hilarie Burton's strength as a comedic performer and closer to the weakness of every actor ever born, that being translating unnatural melodrama into something palatable.

Plus the book was just a Naughty Book!  According to this book people hardly ever do anything nice.  Which might be true, but who wants to see that in their sentimental Christmas movie?

But at least it did have a couple good laughs, but Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross used up their vomit pass in the last we Christmas Movie we saw them in.




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