30 Days of Horrible Christmas Movies... Day Twenty-Eight

Baby's First Christmas (2012) - Hallmark

I feel... empowered.  I feel as if there is nothing that I can't do when I set my mind to it, and I can thank these Christmas movies for giving me this confidence.  True, there's been tears and pain and I believe a 30% loss of vision, but whatever man... I can't be stopped now.

Alrighty then... Jenna (Rachel Wilson) is a Kanye listening, green loving, proletariat supporting lib-tard.  Kyle (Caspar Van Dien) is a country music digging, boot straps pulling, proletariat oppressing republi-turd.  They're both lawyers, they hate each other on many levels, but alas they are always thrust together because Jenna's brother Jim and Kyle's sister Trisha are married to each other.

Such as this Christmas for instance where Jenna and Kyle are forced to rent a car together to go to NYC to witness the birth of their nephew, to go along with their adorable seven year old niece Karen (Ella Ballentine).  Now there are issues the likes of which you would not believe.  Just know that Jim and Trisha are at the hospital working through a tough labor while Jenna and Kyle, with little Karen in tow, are going to be running around New York City trying to set all kinds of things right.  Think 'Adventures in Babysitting' as a reference point.

Strange thing though... Kyle and Jenna, despite their philosophical differences, start to fall for each other. Strange thing though... Something bad happens which tears them apart.  Strange though... somehow love finds a way, because it always does.  In Hallmark Land at least.

Now this movie here throws an awful lot at the viewer in that there are a crapload of resolutions that have to take place if we are to be satisfied.

1) Jenna and Kyle have to find love
2) The problematic Pregnancy has to work out
3) The house foreclosure has to be stopped
4) Kyle has to fix his severe issues with his estranged father
5) Jim, who has been laid off, has to find a decent paying job
6) Lamme, the old lady's dog, has to be found
7) Kyle must learn that his way of life is wrong
8) The foreclosure dude, Mr. Kotter, must find a heart.

That's an awful lot of resolution in 80 minutes, but it totally happens!  Yay!  That old lady?  Totally a billionaire, gives Jim a six-figure gig.  The foreclosure nonsense?  Completely the fault of Kyle's law firm... He now knows being lawyer who wants to get stupid paid is bad.  The dad?  I mean he sounded just awful and completely beyond redemption so I was kind of with Kyle on this one, but nope... it's all good now.  When you buy your 45 year old son a toy train 35 years late... it's never too late!

You want wise old people and cute kids?  We got 'em here in spades.  I mean everybody in this movie was wise and said smart stuff... except Kyle of course because his way of life is WRONG.  And yet again we blessed, or cursed with somebody singing Jingle Bells at the end of this.  Either Caspar can't sing or he was acting like he can't sing.  Either way, it was awful.  I mean adorable.

All that being said, I do believe if you like these kinds of movies, this one seemed to check off all the right boxes and I think you'll like this one as well.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hail to the Craptastic!

30 Days of Horrible Christmas Movies... Day Fourteen