30 Days of Horrible Christmas Movies... Day Twelve

Girlfriends of Christmas Past (2016) - UPtv

It's thanksgiving and Professional Party Planner Livvy (Tammin Sursok) is enjoying dinner with her family and her man Anderson (John Brotherton).  It's been a glorious year together and it looks like Anderson, some kind of tech mogul, just might propose.  Instead he breaks up with her which just destroys poor Livvy.  Seriously.  Livvy's behavior moving forward are the acts of a person who has totally lost their ever loving mind.

Livvy's work mate and best friend, Gay Tyler (Chris Salvatore), after a few weeks of Livvy not getting out of bed, knows it time for Livvy to get her self together, and if she wants to be free of what Anderson did to her, she should post on some Bad Ex-boyfriend website so others will know what a bad boyfriend he was.  Instead Livvy goes to the website, finds two other women Anderson did wrong in the uptight Murphy (Lindsey McKeon) and the flighty Zoe (Abigail Klein), and Livvy somehow ropes these women in a plot to save Anderson's new girlfriend Megan (Meagan Holder) from a similar fate.  Allegedly.  They really don't care about that poor girl, truth be told.

So these three really beautiful whackjobs setup about doing things to poor Anderson... yes, poor Anderson... that is cruel, certainly illegal, and completely uncalled for.  Gay Tyler desperately tries to talk some sense into Livvy, but to no avail.  There's even a new man in the picture, in one of Anderson's employees Carter (Brent Bailey) whose is pretty much everything any woman could want in any man, but Livvy soldiers on her crazy mission.  Of course everything goes straight to hell, the new man is lost... mainly because Livvy is certifiably insane... until everything turns out just perfectly for pretty much everybody.  Even Anderson, who sees the wrong in his ways.  When what he really should be doing is calling the proper authorities and have these people arrested.

Unfortunately this one here isn't a very vomit worthy Christmas movie.  Sure, there's Christmas themes all around, trees, wreaths, poinsettias as far as the eye can see, but they could've set this nonsense against a backdrop of any holiday.  Valentine's day probably would've worked just as well, if not better.  No cute kids, no wise old people, not a lot of forced canned Christmas music... none of that stuff.  Thus in the absence of a legitimate Christmas movie, this one has to work as just a regular movie, and so what we really have is a Romantic Comedy, albeit one which is kind of low on Romance, fair to middling on the comedy, but damn high on cruelty and mental instability.  If we were to dig deep, we would take 'Girlfriends of Christmas Past' as a treatise on the need for better mental health care in the United States, and a subtle request by the filmmakers for President Trump not to repeal the Affordable Care Act.  Because people be Crazy yo.

And I gotta another suggestions for the filmmakers out there.  They seemed to make it a point to let us know that Tyler was like Super Gay.  Skinny jeans that stop below his ankle, too small cardigan with the sleeves rolled up, effeminate nature, limp wrists, a flair for decorating... a stereotypical caricature if ever there was one.  But what if you take that same character, same stereotypical attributes, but DON'T make him gay.  Just imagine the comedy gold you could mine from that.

Anyway, unless you have a strong desire to watch a bad RomCom featuring a gaggle of really good looking people exhibiting symptoms of poor mental health, there are other terrible Christmas movies this season that will probably be more worth your time.

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